For each friendship in your life, there was a tipping point. There was a shift from being casual acquaintances to being personally invested. There was a moment you declared each other worthy to be saved as a contact in your address book. An instance sparked the creation of a shared language of common interests and inside jokes.

This week I noticed a shift had quietly taken place with a small group of my colleagues. These individuals showed up to walk alongside me as I tiptoed through a handful of hard days. One person texted daily to check in on me, another person called, and several others stopped by. My situation was not dramatic or even remotely critical to these individuals, but it was a hard situation for me. They saw my heartbreak and responded with kindness.

To be honest, I was a little surprised they noticed yet alone cared to take time to reach out. I zoomed out a bit to take stock of these relationships I’d forged, and I saw that this act of showing up for one another had become part of a larger rhythm that developed over Monday meetings and hallway chats. At various points we’d all become curious about how each of us were faring individually, and that curiosity deepened into a personal stake into one another’s wellbeing.

When we are younger it’s easy to take the ease of making friends for granted because this movement from mere acquaintance to bestie can be swift and plentiful. Stages of life built around school or organized sports provide a shared experience that can usher friends into our lives en masse. Harrowing chapters of life that deal with illness or breakups can also bring about new avenues that lead to an expanding of our address book. As we get older, our circles seem to decrease and with that reduction comes a greater challenge to forge new friendships. (Or maybe we are all becoming increasingly more introverted with age?)

I certainly am not as interested in filling up every.single.evening with after-work drinks with friends, concerts, dinners, or classes. When I was in my twenties, I had to fiercely guard my downtime by blocking off one night to stay in. Now I must summon the effort to be social more than one night a week. Maybe it’s the fatigue that comes with age, or maybe it’s being more comfortable with my own company that’s caused this reversal, who can say. When I look back on seasons of my life when I was the new person in town and deliberately tried to forge new friendships, I can’t help but notice how much work went into those relationships. I suspect I am not alone in this based on the sheer volume of articles filled with advice for adults looking to make new friends.

There does seem to be a bit of a recipe for making new friends, however, and that recipe often requires work. For one, I’ve had to follow Ariel’s advice and “be where the people are.” Ordering Thai food and staying in every night isn’t likely to be a winning strategy for meeting new people nor is constantly tuning out the world with headphones. Small talk is usually the key to opening doors when it comes to getting to know someone. Second, identifying shared experiences or beliefs is the secret sauce when it comes to building friendships. This often involves curiosity and asking questions. And finally, for some of us it takes a bit of bravery to move from chit-chat in the corridor at work to storing one another’s details in your phones. Hooray if you’re the brave one to initiate this transition. And then reach out! Even a quick text can show you care and that you are invested in a person.

Now, there are times that one person’s definition of friendship wildly differs from another’s. I think of a wedding invitation I received for someone I’d have certainly described as a casual acquaintance, for example. I suppose how we define friendship is a conversation in and of itself to be had another time.

But making friends – that’s our topic du jour. So, do you have any tried and true methods for making new friends?

Have we already talked about the concept of “third places?” I kind of love it, so it’s worth mentioning again if it’s the second time I’ve brought it up. Lately, I’m finding the hole-in-the-wall-bar-slash-restaurant next door to my work has become a beloved third place. I mainly go there for lunch (I’m reliving my early 20’s with a Caesar wrap, everybody!) though sometimes I find myself there for happy hour. There’s something about being welcomed by the staff and asked if I’ll have my regular that makes me feel very comforted. Do you have a “third place?”

I love this idea to turn scaffolding into giant displays of art.

How do we feel about French mustard with walnuts? I heard really good things about this one.

Talk about talent. This Substack uses GIFS to review books. Their review of Wuthering Heights might be better than the actual book. (Sorry not sorry I love Charlotte’s work more.)

These cottages in Cornwall are just so charming. I especially love the wallpapers and painted furniture.

Beverage stations and appliance garages are the latest in home trends.

This mushroom stool is so lovely (and so many dollars).

James Clear’s advice on finding someone wonderful is, well, wonderful:

“Exceptional people are rare. When you find someone wonderful, invest in them.

When you find a great employee, pay them well.

When you find a great friend, prioritize the relationship.

When you find a great spouse, out-love them each day.

Relationships are probably the most important part of life. Take care of the great ones.” (Source)

Though some history is painful to recount, all history is important to remember. “You Are the Führer’s Unrequited Love” tells the story of one of the greatest lies in human history and its author, Albert Speer, who was Hilter’s favorite architect and Minister of Armaments and War Production.

I’m incredibly pleased Plum Sykes declared loafers to be chic because loafers are my go-to for work:

“As a child I was taught to fear ‘the woman in comfortable shoes’ - the phrase brought to mind frowning headmistresses, stern receptionists and over-exhausted hospital matrons, none of whom exuded glamour. Now, not so much: I think loafers are incredibly classy…” (Source)

Ideas for styling graphic T-shirts.

Lidl (yes, the very affordable grocery store) is opening a pub? I have so many questions.

QVC will file for bankruptcy. While I can totally see how this happened, what with the Internet and all, this story still surprised me a bit.

People are turning to Moogle Gaps to get lost…on purpose.

If you or someone you know is absolutely the worst at taking photos, this contest is for you. Iceland Air believes even the worst photographer can take stunning pictures of Iceland and is running this contest to prove that theory. In addition to a fully funded trip to Iceland, the winner will win a nice chunk of cash.

Enjoy your day, and remember to be a dear friend to yourself ❤️

I’m writing to you from the other side of hosting family for Easter, a day spent leading 3 adults and 4 children through the urban wilds of DC, and enduring a seriously annoying sinus infection. Ah, Spring! But some much-needed downtime seems to be setting me right, so here I am back with you.

I very much enjoy hosting but seldom am able to do it. As they were preparing to depart, my sister, brother, and sister-in-law repeatedly remarked that my husband and I had been wonderful hosts. Because I’m me and ponder over just about anything, I wondered just what it is that categorizes someone as a good host.

While magazines and Pinterest will try to tell you the qualities of a good host are all found in a Williams-Sonoma catalog, I’m starting to think the basis of good hosting is knowing yourself.

A couple of years ago, my husband and I ventured out to Rehoboth Beach to visit a couple we are lucky to call friends. Let’s call them M and D, shall we? I would come to learn over the course of that weekend that M & D are masters in the art of hosting. At first I thought my experience was tied to our surroundings, a beautiful home located close to a bustling beach town. But after our second evening with our friends, I realized our visit was special because we felt taken care of. And we felt taken care of because they – M, specifically – had filtered every choice they made about the guest rooms through the lens of, “What would I like to have if I were visiting?”

The beds in this home are incredibly comfortable, and I think the comfort I felt was due to the fact that M thought about all the scenarios that might greet her guests. By stocking the bed with more than one style of pillow and offering several types of blankets, that bed could instantly conform to the side sleeper, or to the person who runs hot in the night, or to the person who sleeps best with a weighted blanket. The room also came with a sound machine, a place to put your stuff, and a bathroom freshly stocked with plush towels and toiletries. The experience felt like a weekend in a boutique hotel.

My friends are excellent hosts because they know what they like when they travel, and they then put themselves in the shoes of others when hosting. And this sorta supports my theory that the best hosts know themselves very well.

This means you and I can be excellent hosts without ever having someone over. We don’t need palatial homes and manicured back gardens to practice the art of hosting. No, I think we can start small by placing our favorite flower in a jam jar on the bathroom counter. We can upgrade our linens and towels so that we feel enveloped in comfort at the end of a long day. We can have a tissue box in every room or music playing with every meal or whatever personal comfort we might enjoy. And we can easily elevate the mundane. Bust out the tablecloth even if it’s just you eating the Thai takeaway. Use the wine glasses for your can of bubbly water. Whatever it is that makes you and me feel most at home – those are the things we can prioritize in our hosting. And whatever flourish feels special to us can be folded into an ordinary Wednesday dinner.

I suppose my logic here runs a bit parallel to the Golden Rule. To treat others as you’d like to be treated, you must first know how you’d like to be treated. Same goes for hosting as it helps to articulate how you’d like to be hosted before you start hosting others. Hopefully as we get to know ourselves better, we can anticipate and accommodate others with the grace and kindness that comes with being a good host. And for some of us, particularly my fellow people pleasers, flipping the Golden Rule might be in order. That is, we should aim to treat ourselves with the same kindness we extend to others.

No one utters “fopdoodle” with their dignity impact…and 108 other goofy words brought to us by the English language.

Sometimes you just want data without all the noise, and that’s nearly impossible to find with most news outlets. I thought this website tracking the Strait of Hormuz was especially helpful, particularly in learning how countries around the world are impacted by changes in traffic through the tiny water pathway.

Speaking of data + maps, I’m still fascinated by the MarineTraffic map.

Intrigued by the Palmpress, a pour-over-meets-French Press from Corkcicle.

So, it’s not just me. Text on Instagram stories is often too small.

The secret to mobility in midlife and beyond might just be exercising this muscle.

A Hat Named Wanda is touted as a perfectly malleable hat, suitable for all sorts of people and occasions. I couldn’t say, seeing as I’ve never tried it on. I just love the name!

If you’re the extra patient type, creating a personal encyclopedia might be a great way to celebrate a special person in your life – say as a graduation gift or gift in honor of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. It certainly takes a bit of effort, but the resulting personal wiki-style page is a pretty amazing way to document a person’s life.

Rob Henderson writes about the importance of keeping cool in this essay for the WSJ. “In moments of intense disagreement, you’re signaling what kind of person you are.”

9 Airbnbs that once belonged to people you may have heard of. Like, Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor, and Jane Austen (!!).

Here’s the reason why you feel stressed when you look at your very full closet and struggle to decide what to wear.

This story about the scandal swirling around writer Amy Griffin and her maybe-not-so-accurate memoir was news to me, but whoa was it a good read.

Speaking of good reads, this essay about the chaos resulting from one roommate’s decision to take Ozempic hit home in a lot of ways. One, entire chapters of my life seem framed by what size I was wearing at the time, so the conversation about weight loss felt very personal. Two, the dynamic between roommates – particularly female roommates living in a large city – can be, well, delicate, and this piece articulated a lot of those dynamics with precision.

“It’s concealed in a brown paper bag in the wine fridge, if that tells you anything. Under rows of spiked seltzers, a few bottles of white wine and a way over budget bottle of champagne purchased for a birthday pregame, there it is. A crumpled brown paper bag with Walgreens splashed across the front, and inside is the medication my roommate’s been taking for approximately the last fourteen months. There’s a picture of her hiking tacked to the bulletin board in our apartment among a constellation of wedding and bridal and baby shower invites. In it she’s squinting against the sun, grinning. She looks like herself, happy and tan and taking the experience on the pulse. It’s from a trip she took with her twin sister, who has the same frame as her, who she’s been fighting with more lately, ever since she got skinny and then super-skinny.” (Source)

How can you prove your work wasn’t generated by AI and other depressing tales from the future?

How lovely are these illustrated cards?

Hard to believe this stunning resort is in the middle of Georgia. (The state, not the country)

First Chappywrap brought us incredibly chic flannel blankets, and now they bring us these beautiful needlepoint kits. Very on brand for them, I think. These might make a great Mother’s Day gift. Or, if you’re like my college roommate and me, they could be great for a graduate in your life. (EM, remember our Joni Mitchell and needlecraft nights in Patterson??)

In closing, have you seen Project Hail Mary yet? I just saw it in a theatre this week, and I must admit my expectations were quite low having seen at least four variations of the trailer. I assumed those trailers, like all movie trailers these days, had revealed the entire storyline. Oh how wrong I was! Delightfully wrong. It’s a movie that leaves you thinking. And of course while the movie is the result of that long process of optioning a book, the story deviates just a bit from the written word to accommodate the silver screen. If you haven’t seen it yet, it might be worth watching. This review of the movie captures so many thoughts I had and also shares insights from the book (which I have yet to read). Be warned, though, because spoilers abound in that review!

Spoil yourself a wee bit this weekend! I have a feeling you’ve earned it.

Whew! March sure flew by quickly, didn’t it? Yesterday, I sent a few photos to my nephew via my sister. (Side note: little kids are quite the executives, what with their 24/7 staff. Ha!). As I scrolled through the camera roll on my phone, I realized while March felt like a blur of mornings disappearing into afternoons, it was actually a productive and action-packed month for me.

Sometimes it takes just a few minutes of reflection to see you’ve been thriving all along.

How has March felt for you? Was this a productive month with lots of items crossed off your to-do list? Or was this a hard month that presented unexpected obstacles and let downs? Maybe this was a milestone month with an anniversary or birthday?

I thought I’d share some photos of how I passed the time this March, if you’re interested in taking a look.

What about you? What would your camera roll tell me about your month?

A seaside town in Ireland launched a successful grassroots effort to provide a phone-free childhood to its youngest residents.

A mail carrier shares what it’s like to work for the postal service. Key takeaways: walking up to 12 miles a day and reading all the postcards.

Good advice for life these days. (p.s. Karen, maybe this is what we should hang in our offices?)

“This generation has it easy; their emojis are just handed to them.” See also that time Kelly Rowland looked like she was texting via Excel.

Extremely practical recommendations (via an unlocked link from Cup of Jo).

Not sure if I like the sound of a Green Tomato Martini. On the other hand, this Green Goddess cocktail looks amazing.

How AI is creeping into some of the most trusted news sources. (Ahem, NYTimes, we’re looking at you).

99 things you can get rid of this week to decrease clutter.

Europe’s new biometric border system is causing major delays to people just trying to live their best life by visiting <insert charming European town name here>. It tracks that someone had to develop an app to deal with this new hiccup caused by tech. Maybe we can just go back to paper tickets and being civil when we travel?

New linen pajamas for you just in time for summer. Speaking of summer, a reminder about the most perfect fan for your bedroom / office / living room / wherever.

I read an article where the author argued in defense of beach idiots, a.k.a. college students on spring break. In short, some very dull journalist quizzed college students as they were catching rays on a Florida beach about the happenings of foreign policy. The answers were exactly what you’d expect. Sure, it’s important to know what is happening in the world. But it is perhaps more important to … live your life.

“I’d also be willing to bet that those beachgoers are far happier than most political obsessives — and, at age 20, happy is a pretty important thing to be…Properly understood, politics exists to create the conditions within which civil society can thrive. In consequence, it is extremely important. But it is not — and it must never be allowed to become — an end unto itself. We must get our politics right so that we may do other things with our lives: things such as build families, form businesses, attend churches, join associations, organize sports leagues, create art, and, yes, enjoy spring break. C. S. Lewis once wrote that “the sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal, or two friends talking over a pint of beer, or a man alone reading a book that interests him; and that all economies, politics, laws, armies, and institutions, save insofar as they prolong and multiply such scenes, are a mere ploughing the sand and sowing the ocean, a meaningless vanity and vexation of the spirit.” This is true in Florida today, as it was in England in the middle of the last century, as it was in the time of the Romans. To interrupt a trip to the shore with rote sand-plowing is, ultimately, to forget why one has a plow in the first instance.” (Source)

One of my favorite writers, Rob Henderson, makes the case that “work is essential to happiness” in an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal.

A list of restaurants whose names contain unusual structures. Think, a house made of waffles.

Did Frank Lloyd Wright make a typographical error on one of his most notable buildings?

I hope this is a good weekend for you!

An Amazon Affiliate link lurks in this post. If you make a purchase, I may earn a small commission.

Consider giving this post a ❤️ if you enjoyed it!.

I hope you don’t mind that this week’s email is noticeably shorter and comes to you on a Monday morning instead of during your weekend. This is because I decided to go easy on myself after a very hectic week.

My husband and I took an overnight trip to a nearby college town where we walked around and tried a new restaurant. I brought my camera thinking I’d snap photos of the nearby mountains to share with you, but I ended up just soaking it all in and didn’t take one photograph.

As the temperatures climb where I am, I can feel Spring and Summer gearing up to completely consume us all with busyness and out of office replies. Just the thought of the crowded calendar to come makes me tired. The modern world compels us to always be doing something, doesn’t it? Reading this or that, so we aren’t left behind in conversations with colleagues. Devices pepper us with alerts. Articles compel us to try this new restaurant or buy that new gadget. There’s a time and place for all of that, of course, but there’s also a space for rest. Nature models this for us each and every year.

Would you like to join me in following nature’s lead to resist the busy by resting? Let’s find a nice seat outside where we can sit still long enough to notice the birds and count the things for which we are grateful. We will silence our phones and think on the areas of our lives that deliver contentment.

That to-do list will still be waiting for us after we’re good and rested.

This hotel on the west coast of Mexico looks like something out of a movie. Stunning views of the ocean and a tortilla class? Yes, please!

Goldbelly still has a few Taste of the Masters kits for those who celebrate (and keep losing the annual ticket lottery).

Happiness isn’t the same as aliveness.

The story of this emergency press conference reminds me why I try to consistently say no to processed food in favor of plain ol’ whole foods.

I stumbled across a Montreal-based company called Moments Factory after seeing an immersive waterpark they designed. Looking through their portfolio of work leaves me in awe of how creative people can be.

People are talking about the purse-popcorn-bucket to celebrate the release of The Devil Wears Prada 2.

I was a faithful NME reader in the late 90’s and early aughts. This British magazine documented a golden chapter in rock music through their arty photographs and longform articles. An online archive shares over 300 issues of the magazine, ads and all. Simply fantastic.

When I was in elementary school, I checked the same book out so many times that the librarian asked me to take a break so other kids could have a chance to read it. After a month’s break I asked how many people had checked out my beloved book, and the librarian said, “None. You can check it out again.” That book, dear friends, was about the Titanic. Third-grade-me was absolutely captivated by that ship! It should be no surprise to you that I still seek out information about it like this piece on the fascinating engineering that went into building the unsinkable ship that ended up being quite sinkable.

Thank you for being here. I hope you do something fun this week!

This morning I woke up from one of those dreams that featured all the classic indications of a brain busy with processing and stressing over anything and everything. Did my childhood home with its features perfectly intact make an appearance? It was indeed. Did I witness a mix of current work colleagues alongside family members? Yup, they were all there even though there’s little chance of them ever meeting in my waking life. Were bits of conversation and late-night Instagram reels woven in? You bet. Did a mad rush to the airport cap off the dream? Absolutely.

I suppose this weird dream was the product of a week that included reading and hearing about other people’s lives. I’d helped a new colleague get situated and heard about his career and life over the course of the week. At the end of the week, I read this essay about a woman’s fond childhood memories of her grandmother which of course triggered memories of my own beloved grandmother, Polly. This might have been a week full of memories for you, too. Many of us reminisced about where we were six years ago this week — I was stuffing my car full of my belongings to make the move from Connecticut to DC. I also found myself thinking about this week last year when I was prepping for an epic surprise birthday party for my husband.

Needless to say, this was a week where I spent a lot of time looking in the rearview mirror.

As I’ve mentioned to you before, I have a bad habit of wallowing in what-ifs and regret. I am working to change that by flipping the record, so to speak, each time I feel myself wading into the dark waters of regret. This is especially true when it comes to missing my grandparents or reflecting on my childhood.

The presence of absence can be so profound. The longing for what is no longer can cripple you if you aren’t careful. So how can we turn that moment of grief for what was into something more positive and beneficial to us in the present? I suspect reframing the memory of a person or time is where we can start. Instead of focusing on the things we may have lost, we could instead choose to focus on those things that we carry with us.

For example, my grandmother was dedicated to sending cards to her grandkids to commemorate birthdays and holidays. I loved receiving a bright green envelope adorned with her careful cursive handwriting in the days leading up to St. Patrick’s Day. And I always looked forward to seeing how she would personalize my birthday cards – maybe writing the name of my pet above the illustration of a dog or cat on the card she’d chosen for me. I try to carry this tradition on by sending cards to the littles in my life as each holiday rolls around.

I also remember how she had a signature scent and color. If memory serves, the perfume she always wore was White Linen from Estée Lauder, and her signature color was most definitely red. I imagine when my nieces and nephews remember me, they’ll likely remember me in a solid top wearing my wire-thin gold rings and bracelets and smelling of Santal 33. By defining my style, even just a bit, I feel as though I carry Polly with me.

My grandmother was quick with a joke, loved to “go cruising” with me around town as we listened to Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline, and she always reminded me that she loved me because I was hers. It was her way of saying no matter what failures or bumps along the road that I might endure, she’d always love me. When I feel a pang of sadness over the fact that we can’t hop in the car and go for a drive or that I can’t introduce her to the man I married, I remember parts of her are woven into the fabric of who I am today. She lives on in bits of my humor and hospitality.

You and I are both patchwork quilts, made of the people and places that nourished us along the way.

When you think of the pattern of the quilt that represents your life, what fabrics do you see? Do you see the sturdiness of a beloved grandfather or the warmth of a favorite aunt? Do you recall summer mornings waiting for pancakes at a diner in the beach town you visited every August? Do you look back on your twenties and see a group of friends who carried you from childhood to adulthood? Do you see the reflection of a brave loved one when you look back on the courage you displayed to carve out the life you now live?

In addition to the story a patchwork quilt tells, it also makes for easy alterations. A square can be swapped out for another if you choose, making redemption an important feature of our quilts. A square that reminded us of regret can be exchanged for a softer fabric reflecting the kindness and love we’ve learned to give ourselves along the way.

A new report lists jobs AI cannot replace.

If you have a busy week coming up, this chicken and salsa crockpot recipe from the always reliable Ali Stafford might be a help to your mealtime plans.

A great clutch for spring / summer.

At 67, Michelle Pfeiffer still makes her work look effortless. Turns out, she puts a lot of work into making you think this, all while having a refreshingly down-to-earth attitude.

“Her attitude toward her work has always been a dance of approach and avoidance. After those early bombshell years, she was vigilant about the parts she took. (An agent nicknamed her Dr. No.) By the 2000s, married to the prolific writer and producer David E. Kelley and a mother to two young children, she became even more careful, declining offers that would disrupt family life. She loved motherhood and was grateful for how it blunted her tendency to obsess over her work.

‘It forces you out of your narcissism,’ she said. ‘I was a much happier person when I became a mom.’” (Source)

In defense of influencers.

A clever and beautiful way to keep your bag organized. Magnets! Pouches connect to other pouches to make a tray system … see, I told ya it’s clever!

Use BASKET15 for 15% off Bon Bon candy for those Easter baskets. Or maybe order a bit of New York City’s favorite Swedish candy for yourself.

I realize it’s no longer the sleepy little beach town it once was, but I don’t care. I still really want to go to Tulum.

I have a feeling my friend Molly S. will be one of the first guests at the new Wolseley Hotel opening up in New York City next year. She always knows the best places to stay and eat in London and NYC, so she’s definitely worth a follow.

“Staying invisible is costing you more than being cringe ever will.”

My favorite Irish chef is hosting a live cooking demonstration on St. Patrick’s Day from Ballymaloe Cookery School.

New technology helps us hear noises in nature that are beyond normal human range. They scared my cat, so maybe it’s good we can’t hear them?

This week, my friend and PR pro Kathy shared a great tip on crafting messaging for a company or organization.

“President Clinton had a golf outing with professional Greg Norman and hurt his knee. When the White House press office released a statement about the injury, they ended it with these words, ‘Alcohol was not a factor in the incident.’

My brain - and probably many others - never went there on its own. That is, until the White House suggested it. I chalked it up to the president over-doing it on the golf course but the White House inferred that it could be something else entirely.

They told me what it wasn’t rather than focusing on what it was. That’s a big no-no.” (Source)

Jain is now selling pajamas for the littles in your life who love golf (or have parents who love golf). These would be so fun for the Masters.

Research suggests recess helps kids do better in school. Now it’s time for someone to do the study that says recess helps adults at work.

Thoughts on junk food and AI slop.

I love when people share what they ate and saw on a trip. Fanny Adams shares her Paris photo album here and her Madrid photo album here.

Why do the Science sections of bookstores today contain so many lackluster books that have been overhyped?

Trend to keep an eye out for: charmable pens.

Take gentle care of yourself this week!

This lack of motivation even tarnished my weekly letter to you (so you know I was in a bad way). I couldn’t write to you with just a question couched in my deflated no-good attitude, so I turned to an expert on how to stay motivated when all seems blah.

James Clear has penned some pretty insightful essays, and I was pleased to see he’d written about my exact predicament. (!) In fact, he’d christened the steps to emerge from my deflated no good attitude with a name – The Goldilocks Rule. Perfect. At the start of this weekend, I had planned to read his essay, interpret a life lesson based upon the resilience of comedian Steve Martin, and rid myself of this mediocre state of being. Only, I must confess, I couldn’t get through it. I suppose I was too far gone on the Not Motivated scale to finish reading a how-to guide on Getting Motivated.

How would I write to you if I couldn’t even muster up the motivation to finish reading a short essay?

Nevermind the fact that any and all deadlines related to this Substack are self imposed, and I have a pretty strong feeling you’re the gracious type who would forgive a week’s absence. But still. I was determined to climb out of the mundane and unmotivated pit I found myself in. I decided I’d skip finishing the essay, transform this note to you into a “weekly read,” and go outside. For the entire day.

And so my husband and I set off. We walked, took the train, and walked some more with a national landmark as our destination. As we made our way down Independence Boulevard, we noticed signs for a Basquiat x Banksy exhibit at the Hirshhorn Museum. That would be our first detour and the place where I’d feel my sense of blah begin to wane.

I took some pictures, if you’re interested in seeing them.

While I don’t have a cleverly named theory on how I slowly dialed up my motivation level, I can say getting outside helped. Immersing myself in work someone else spent ages completing also really helped. It’s all just one step after another. (And buying fresh flowers sometimes helps!)

Look, I get the fact that this article comes from Hello! Magazine might make some people roll their eyes and scroll on. But. I kinda think the writer has something here, because I sure as heck do not feel amazing after a long day of standing at my desk – I feel like I’m back in retail with aching joints and an aching back. So, are standing desks ruining our legs?

Jackson, WY has a new hostel. It’s gorgeous, that’s for sure, but it’s a hostel. Would you stay here?

During Gucci’s latest runway show, a model checked his phone in the middle of the catwalk. I’m pretty sure this was part of the show, but it does show how disruptive our phones are.

Is this true? The “founder of Instagram hasn’t posted in 8 years.”

This new bathhouse in Paris is covered in tile and is absolutely gorgeous.

Broccoli is the new performance enhancer. A compound found in broccoli has been shown to do all sorts of magical things in your body to allow you to push yourself a bit harder and not feel so much of the burn later. Bonus points, athletes don’t fail drug tests while on broccoli.

Target is offering parents a new boutique experience with curated offerings. It seems curation is the buzzword over the Target, what with their shiny new (curated!) Soho store.

A luxury new hotel located at the corner of Wilshire Blvd. and Santa Monica Blvd. promises to be the Dubai of Los Angeles. (h/t to cozy girls.)

Norwegian airports rolled out “coat hotels” so you don’t have to carry your bulky coat to your beach vacation.

Pretty pale blue earrings for Spring from Vivian Drew.

Love, love, absolutely love this house described as a “playful Hamptons home inspired by Strawberry fabric.”

I mean, this Navage Nose Cleaner is kinda gross in theory, but also allergy season is the worst.

It’s Monday. You have no idea what time it is or why it is dark/light/that time right now, but summer is on its way so we press on! Here’s to a marvelous week.

Welcome to another week where the news is bleak and tensions run high! People are on edge. Traffic is perilous, what with drivers acting out their frustrations with the world via harrowing episodes of road rage at 7:48 a.m. Text messages are fraught with dramatic proclamations like, “I hate this,” or “They are completely stupid.” Even my cat is acting out by jumping on the counter, a place she knows not to venture.

We all need a snack and a nap. But world events won’t slow for our juice box and 30-minute snooze, so what are we to do? We can control what we can control, and leave the rest to someone else.

Ha. Easier said than done in a world that revolves around a 24/7 news cycle built on keeping us afraid and suspicious. Nevermind, though, we shall press on.

Here’s what we’ll do to catch our breath: get a bit of perspective, take a look outside ourselves, and choose the tangible over the virtual.

First up, perspective. I’ve found a powerful perspective by learning about the history of ancient civilizations. On Monday evenings, I attend an intensive course on the Old Testament that is packed with history lessons. I realize now that when I read history books as a young student, I looked down on the people of the past. I mistakenly concluded they were not as wise or sophisticated. How wrong I was. When someone one day is able to read about my life as a whole, they will surely find me lacking.

Learning about the great kings and kingdoms that have risen and fallen over time has shown me there is no such thing as a greatest chapter of history or a greatest generation. History is a great equalizer. They are like me, and I am like them.

Take the mighty Babylonian Empire. This empire was ruled by the powerful Nebuchadnezzar and built the largest city in the world – now a UNESCO site in Iraq. It was King Nebuchadnezzar who commissioned the Hanging Gardens of Babylon to be built for his homesick wife. This was a powerful and modern empire that conquered other nations. The Babylonian people celebrated culture and food in many of the same ways we do – perhaps enjoying a musical performance in an outdoor garden before tucking into a delicious meal with friends and family on a warm summer evening. They had libraries and medical advancements. The city was majestic, and the streets were brimming with people and merchants.

And then one October day in 539 B.C. the city fell to King Cyrus of Persia. Cyrus the Great is now known for his “hands-off approach to social and religious affairs, allowing Persia’s diverse citizenry to continue practicing their own ways of life.” Originating in modern-day Iran, the Persian Empire grew (a.k.a. conquered other nations and people) to become one of the largest empires in history. As great as Babylon had been, it seems the Persian Empire was far greater, for Persia was the “world’s first super power.” They took one look at Babylon’s beautiful cities and culture and said, “hold my beer,” as they raised the bar on technology, science and art. Multiple religions flourished, and the culture blossomed as a result. Just as the Babylonians had done before them, the Persians had good reason to believe they were the greatest culture to walk the earth, but then you can guess where this story leads.

Enter Alexander the Great. In November 333 B.C., Alexander of Macedon confronted King Darius III on the banks of the Pinarus River near modern-day Turkey. While that particular Macedonian victory at Issus did not end the war, it set in motion the final three years of campaigning that would bring the Achaemenid Persian Empire to its collapse. Subsequent rulers never could quite return to Persia to the status she enjoyed during her glorious Iron Age dynasty.

Why do I bring up the rise and fall of these once-great empires? Perspective. Specifically, to illustrate the fact that history tells us people have always desired the same things: peace, belonging, beauty, and the freedom to live out their values. Throughout time, people kept pursuing these things in the face of uncertainty and adversity, and we can do the same.

We take this newfound perspective and thrive in spite of adversity and anxiety by looking outside ourselves and by living in the tangible. We can lift ourselves out of the gloom and despair a 24/7 news cycle inflicts on us by practicing random acts of kindness. We find refuge from anxiety by turning away from the virtual and embracing the tactile. Writing a card to a loved one. Touching grass with our bare feet under the warm sun. Getting lost in the pages of a real book. Soaking up the tenor and tone of the voice of a person dear to you.

No surprise that C.S. Lewis articulated what matters most far better than I could ever dare:

“To be happy at home is the end of all human endeavor. The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal, or two friends talking over a pint of beer, or a person alone reading a book that interests them; and all economics, politics, laws, armies, and institutions, are only valuable in so far as they prolong and multiply such scenes.”

Source: The Weight of Glory where Lewis expands on Samuel Johnson’s quote (edited lightly for clarity)

The corporate jargon we hate the most.

As if you needed another reason to visit Florence, Italy, here’s an article about what makes Florence so spectacular in the winter. Spoiler alert, it’s the food.

Do you agree with James Clear that facts don’t change our minds but friendship does?

Intrigued by the idea of a miso margarita.

Loving these embroidered bandanas.

Wow. The photos of this terra-cotta home in Vietnam are incredible.

Though no one asked me, I believe it is not too early to start prepping for Easter baskets. Malley’s Chocolates is a relatively new-to-me company, and they seem to hit it out of the park with everything they do. Since their opening in 1935, they remain a family-owned business and factory based in Cleveland. Their solid line-up of Easter chocolates might be a good option for those trying to shop small and choosing real ingredients. See’s Candies is another place to source Easter goodies. Their chocolate eggs are gorgeous. Case in point.

The Met appears to have uncovered the original emoji-filled chain texts!

For those women with thick hair, these new hair ties might be worth trying. They promise to hold your hair without breaking it. And they look attractive on your wrist. As for me and my thin hair, we’re sticking with these Japanese hair ties that are in the running for the title of GOAT.

Condé Nast and I agree: Palm Springs has still got it.

Speaking of SoCal, this historic home in Pasadena is designed around the premise that more is more, and it makes me realize I am not a maximalist.

Is it better to book reservations directly with hotels and airlines?

I am here for the silk scarf trend.

This video unpacks the ingenious design of the aluminum can.

Look at all these vintage illustrated advertisements! So many are so clever.

Reader, I am about to wax poetic about a weather app. So there was this weather app called Dark Sky that came to be my second-favorite app of all time (after my music app, obvs). It wasn’t free, but oh was it glorious. It was so eerily accurate at telling me precisely how many minutes I should seek the cover of a NYC coffee shop while rain pounded outside. The makers of Dark Sky sold something or other to a large tech company, and my beloved weather guru was no more. Well, the geniuses behind Dark Sky are back with a new app called Acme Weather. Acme promises to deliver the features I really enjoyed with Dark Sky – lotsa maps and community reporting – plus new fun features like rainbow reporting. (I tell ya, you just never know what you’re gonna learn in this newsletter!)

Take it easy on yourself this week. Sending love and hope to you!

There’s an excerpt from an essay I’ve been saving to share with you, and today feels like a good day to do that. The writer looks at quitting his smoking habit, and at one point he shares with the reader the advice he would give his pre-smoking younger self.

It’s an exercise many of us do – drafting advice we’d share with our younger selves, an impossible person to reach. We assume our younger selves would cling to the pearls of wisdom we’d dispense today, but it’s quite likely those pearls would be handed back to us with an “I can take it from here.” After all, that’s what we did when we were younger and were gifted bits of wisdom from grandparents, parents, history books, and the like.

But, oh if we could just go back in time.

How about I share the excerpt that sent me down this rabbit hole before I fall back down the rabbit hole?

“When I try to remember what it was like to be that age, what I remember is a burning desire to be somebody else. I don’t just mean that I didn’t want to be me, but that I also actively wanted to be other people, who happened to be near me at the time. If I felt defined by anything, it was the absence of those instinctive ceremonies of self that the people around me were conducing [sic] quite unthinkingly. And if I didn’t have an instinct for scandal or Olympian hauteur or social grace or a gift for euphoric absurdity or a straightforward way of loving those around me or emotional percipience or a really cool skill, and was besides a 0.01st-percentile dancer with a wrong sort of face and walk, at least I could roll a cigarette quicker and better than anyone else and I always had something to do with my hands.

I’ve been wondering what advice I could give my younger self about smoking. There’s nothing I could say about the dangers he wouldn’t already know. I think I’d tell him about this adjacent fear he had—of turning into someone he didn’t recognize. I would say that like most people, he would surprise himself by turning into someone who felt more sympathy for his past iterations than they ever really felt for themselves. As for quitting, it’s like anything else. You just miss it every day until you don’t.” (Source)

To wallow in regret, what-ifs, and should-haves is most often a counter-productive exercise, and yet I continue to do it. Recently, though, I’ve been flipping the script when I am tempted to stare in the rearview mirror for far too long.

What might my older self tell me today if time could be bent to allow this miraculous meet up to occur? I mean, I prepare for my future self on a regular basis. I save for retirement. I tidy up and stock the freezer so that I’ll walk into a clean house that offers something for dinner after a long trip. I turn in early in preparation for a busy day. Given that I am preparing for my future self so often, it’s not hard to imagine a conversation between my future self and my present self.

Certainly there would be talk of flossing, exercise, and getting more sleep. But what might she tell me in regards to choices? Perhaps she would encourage me to invest in myself more through hobbies. She’d certainly frown on my screen time. I suspect she’d tell me to spend less time worrying about what strangers think and to invest more in the people who invest in me. She’d certainly tell me to write more letters and to prioritize the little ones in my life. To never miss an opportunity to tell the love of my life that he is the love of my life.

90 seconds of imagining the counsel my future self would give me today feels far more productive and positive than all those minutes I’ve spent replaying the past. To be sure, reflection is a key part of healthy growth, but dwell too long in reflection and you risk twisting that healthy review into a harsh and counter-productive admonishment.

What about you? How do you imagine a conversation between your future self and your present playing out? Where would your future self encourage and praise you? That place of encouragement and praise feels like it might be a good place for us to start a new week, doesn’t it?

A stunning garden in South Africa.

It’s not always easy to make new friends, especially the older you get. This essay makes the case for seeing friendship like exercise – focusing on the middle versus those weird early days of forming a friendship.

Absolutely here for the Toy Story 5 trailer!

Yet another study about how Gen Z is charting their own course. This time, someone out there with a calculator found that individuals born under the Gen Z banner are twice as likely than their Millennial counterparts to never watch live sports regularly.

This restaurant in Milan looks fun. Bonus points for their live music section and record store.

Don’t sleep on Lake’s annual sale. (Ha! Pun!) Lake makes the best pajamas. Somehow their magical softness holds up wash after wash after wash. They offer great pajamas for men and kids.

Apparently the bathrooms in New York City’s trendiest restaurants have an “it” candle. It is described as having “notes of cedar, palo santo, and fireside embers” and “offers a ‘romantic, transportive quality.’”

This profile of a dramatic Tudor Revival home, coupled with The Polo Bar’s moody green tile that keeps popping up on social media, lead me to believe we will soon see a trend of deep green tile appearing in bathrooms.

This tracks: “Going to the Same Place Over and Over Again Is Really Good for You, Actually.”

A new health trend has arrived on the scene called “stacked water.” Have you heard about it?

The family tree of Greek and Roman Gods gets the YouTube treatment. The poster version of this family tree might be especially handy for the students in your life.

Staying on the history theme, this video from the Victoria and Albert Museum shows the techniques that would have been used by ancient Egyptians to carve hieroglyphs in stone.

Is mascara falling out of fashion?

50 Under-appreciated moves. 100% in agreement re: Jane Eyre and The Painted Veil. Both are excellent.

Interior design tricks from a former staffer at home magazines.

Whoa, check out the candles on this cake.

Take gentle care of yourself this week.

If you’re a woman, many of the items in your closet reflect the genius of a woman named Claire McCarell. That dress with deep pockets that you love so much? Claire’s invention. The soft hoodie you reach for every weekend? Claire’s alternative to hats. The ballet flats that go with everything. Yup, Claire strikes again. The side zipper that means you never have to twist and contort to get into a dress – well you get the point.

If one woman was responsible for so many of the staples we have in our wardrobes today, how come so few people have heard of her?

Thankfully, designers and biographers have recently put a spotlight back on Claire. Not too long ago, I linked to a new biography about the famed yet forgotten designer Claire McCarrell. I’m grateful my friend Kathy not only saw my reference but gifted me the book for Christmas. I just finished the book, and I’m astounded that I never knew about this creative giant to whom I owe a debt of gratitude, for I dearly love pockets, hoodies, and ballet flats.

Designers like Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Tory Burch, and Tommy Hilfiger all pledge allegiances to Claire’s innovative and practical approach to fashion. They point to the fact that many of her designs still look fresh even after 70+ years have passed since they were first introduced.

“She really invented sportswear, which is the country’s major contribution to fashion. She realized that and did that in the 1940’s,” said Calvin Klein.

How can people so easily forget about a person who contributed so much to modern life?

Claire’s biography sings the sad truth that life is full and vibrant until one day it isn’t. The biography sticks a collection of glossy black and white photos into the middle of the book. Photos show glimpses of her very full life: a weekend at her small country house, laughing with family and friends under the expansive shade of an old tree; posing alongside fellow award recipients in DC; and hard at work in her studio.

A few weeks before she was diagnosed with a terminal disease, she sat down for an interview and told the writer, “Probably forty years from now I’ll be sitting in a wheelchair designing a dress for a great-great-grandmother to look as young as she feels.” She wouldn’t get those forty years because she would pass away about a year after giving that interview.

That’s how it is with life. When we are young, we take it for granted and spend it foolishly. As we age, we grow frustrated with the ways time will not bend to our will. And then comes the realization that life is precious, and we become greedy for more of it. More time to accomplish this or that. More days with him or her. More hours to get back on track.

Claire didn’t create a succession plan for her label, hence its shuttering in the Spring of 1959. She likely thought she would get to that another day.

At the risk of being controversial and causing great division, I must make a confession to you. I have never gotten the hoopla around Emily Brontë. And I have certainly never clicked with the moody drama that is “Wuthering Heights.” I am firmly on Team Jane Austen while simultaneously holding a fondness for the magnificent work that is “Jane Eyre” by Emily’s sister, Charlotte. This being said, I am still undecided on whether I will see the new film adaptation of “Wuthering Heights,” but I would most certainly sign up for a trip to spend time with the book’s most imposing character: the Yorkshire moors.

Red and blue look good on everyone.

What book would you live in?

The era of American monoculture is coming to an end.

“All nations are held together by culture, but the U.S. is unique for the power of its pop culture. Our music, television shows and movies are a multitrillion-dollar business and the first way that billions of people around the world get to know us.

…It was the birth of the monoculture—a word that captures the historically unique power of American entertainment in the 20th century. An estimated 200 million tickets were sold for “Gone With the Wind,” which came out in 1939, when the population of the U.S. was 130 million. The “Amos ’n’ Andy” radio show was so popular that movie theaters scheduled around it and piped the audio in on their speakers. In 1983, more than 100 million people watched the finale of “M*A*S*H.”

Americans could count on the fact that their neighbors, their co-workers, or the stranger they sat next to on a plane knew the same pop culture as them and quite possibly had an interesting opinion about it. We talked about the stuff we had watched and listened to at work, on dates and at family reunions. The monoculture was a unifying force when politics, race, and geographic and generational divides kept threatening to tear us apart. You don’t need me to tell you that the monoculture is dying a rapid death. Outside of major sporting events, we’re all watching and listening to different things, fed to us by algorithms designed to divide us into uniquely satisfied consumers.” (Source)

On a related note, a quiz to test your American culture / pop culture knowledge.

What happens when in-person socializing is replaced by tech:

“People don’t process the information as thoroughly when it comes in via technology, as opposed to getting it in person. They don’t think about it as much. Of course, these are broad averages, and some email messages can prompt high arousal, serious thinking, and more. Still, in general there is less thinking.” (Source)

The surprising one role Gen Z women still want men to play.

Since 2006, South Korea has spent $200 billion on programs to reward parenthood. It hasn’t worked. (h/t Rob Henderson)

“Sorry I was so glum. I’m in a cursed mood and can’t bear the human face.” Virginia Woolf

Something scrumptious and briney for dinner on a cold February night.

Floret has loads of helpful online workshops and resources if you’re thinking about planting a garden.

Kinda love this poster that advises you to “toss your phone into the sea.” It’s available in English, French, and Italian. (Of course I would never advise one to throw their phone into the sea because that would be dreadful for the fish!)

Lessons from four winters in Sweden.

Ah! What an incredible poem!!

Hope you feel especially loved today even if you aren’t into red hearts and chocolates and all that.

An Amazon Affiliate link lurks in this post. If you make a purchase, I may earn a small commission. Thank you kindly!

Are you someone who keeps a journal? I flirted with journals off and on when I was younger, though mine seemed to veer into the art of wallowing in self-indulgence. Besides, if I’m being honest, I was ultimately mostly interested in the acquiring-luxurious-paper-goods aspect of journaling. But some friends of mine have been devoted to documenting their days and thoughts in small notebooks in their nightstands, and these collections of thoughts have served them as a helpful record.

It’s times like last month that I wish I’d kept a journal. To be able to look back over one’s life can be a powerful elixir to discouragement in times of trouble and turmoil.

In lieu of personal journals, I’ve been reading quite a bit of history lately. This history lesson comes packaged in the form of a study on the Old Testament, and boy is there a lot of turmoil and change in that collection of works. Empires rise up in power only to be dismantled so that they can give way to a newer, more powerful empire. People are good and true until one day they aren’t. Culture is deafening, which causes people to second-guess their gut instinct. Life is harsh and beautiful all at the same time. Injustice is rampant, but so are hope and kindness.

Sounds a lot like today, huh? It’s a good thing we humans weather storms pretty well.

The other thing I would gain from a collection of my own journals is the reminder that I am resilient. I have rebuilt my life several times – not because of destruction or failure but because I made the choice to try new things and to move to places unknown to me. I survived and sometimes thrived in all of this change. The rhythms and people I thought would be permanent in my life have rarely been a mainstay. Instead, people have come and gone, seasons have started and ended, and I’ve been moving right along all this time.

This is true for you, too, I suspect. There are versions of yourself that you likely look back on with pride. The time you rented your first apartment without roommates. The day you started that dream job. Those long nights you studied for an exam after you decided to go back to school. That weekend you drove a moving truck to a new state to start what would become the most brilliant chapter of your life. That decision to make a major change in your child’s life without knowing how it would turn out. The time you left a bad situation without knowing if there was a safety net under you. The time you stood up to a bully and said, “no more.” I suspect there are so many moments from your life that make you quite proud of yourself.

If it’s true that we can be our own harshest critics, let it also be true that we can be our own greatest champions.

These success stories of people who left white collar jobs for jobs in a trade really struck a chord with me. Especially this story of Candance Robinson who is about my age and left an office job to go back to school and become a cardiovascular sonographer.

“Candace Robinson told herself she wouldn’t stay long at the bank where she worked. Then, 10 years passed. She made a decent living, even if the job wasn’t a passion.

As she saw more co-workers get laid off, many of them as they approached 50, she took stock of what her job had become. “It’s just problem-solving, slinging emails,” she said.

She makes about the same as in her corporate job—less than six-figures—but says she would have taken a pay cut.

“It’s actually dealing with life and death,” she says, “but it is so much less stressful than when I was just dealing with emails.” (Source)

Brands are refusing to scale, and it’s working.

What portion of the calendar is the safest bet when you’re planning a big event like, say, a wedding? Turns out, it’s September, according to this article in the Washington Post.

“The driest month in the 48 contiguous states is September, based on averages going back to 1990 — roughly our modern climate era. Specifically, the days when the largest share of the country doesn’t see a drop of rain (or snow) are Sept. 26 to Oct. 1. That may not shock your socks off. Until we remind you that, in another recent column, we found that the most common birthdays in America are Sept. 24 and 25.” (Source)

I won’t ever think of pigeons the same way again after reading this essay.

Reporting back to you on a Christmas gift that was a big success. Each year Santa visits my parents house (and it is glorious!) via a tremendous amount of help from my mom. This past Christmas, my husband received C.S. Lewis’ trilogy of space novels. They.are.fantastic. You can purchase each book separately or all bundled together in one paperback.

How bakers survive early winter mornings.

Did Jeff Bezos break the Washington Post?

Still laughing about this letter a former U.S. president sent about his dog that “looks like a blimp, a nice friendly appealing blimp, but a blimp.”

Zoomers are the status-seeking generation, and the internet is definitely to blame.

Tips on dressing for winter without feeling like a giant blog. (Brooches! Sweaters as scarves!)

If I ever go on safari, it will most certainly be with Singita. I’ve followed this company that offers thoughtful hospitality and meaningful experiences in its 10 lodges and 9 villas across five African countries for 5+ years now. Mind you, I’ve never even stepped foot on the continent of Africa let alone stayed at one of Singita’s properties. I was hooked on their storytelling. It’s that good. The latest edition of their digital magazine just dropped, so you can see exactly what I’m talking about.

A thoughtful essay on how vision is cheap and easy while implementation is expensive and difficult when you’re building something new. The author offers lessons on how one can stay resilient.

Interesting insights into the workings of three bestseller lists. Why are books rated so highly by one list and not by another?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the comfort food that comes with cold weather. But I also love salad, particularly the way salad makes me feel immediately nourished. Thinking this classic chopped salad might just hold up against the comfort foods of winter.

What status will look like in 2026. In short, looking rich is very easy. Feeling rich, not so much.

A perfect gift for your left-handed friends.

It’s freezing and windy where I am. How about you? Here’s to a delightful weekend no matter the forecast.

And a note that there is an Amazon Affiliate Link lurking in this post. If you make a purchase, I may earn a small commission.

Take good care of yourself!

The view from my window these days is one in which the world is covered in a stubborn substance locals have taken to calling “snowcrete.” You can’t cross that snowy expanse that was once your yard unless you have blades affixed to your feet, and so packages go undelivered and dogs go unwalked.

All this staying indoors translates into the perfect conditions for reading. And that’s what I’ve done every weekend in January.

Too bad the three books I read were utter disappointments! Each title was recently a much-acclaimed bestseller, and each book was a total let down in terms of originality. It’s as though these three authors, living on different continents, were given the same instruction manual on how to half-write. There’s a dash of beautiful prose, a bit of a compelling plot, and a flicker of character development all smothered underneath the stern expectations that come with virtue signaling.

Yesterday, I finished reading the third of my dismal literary trilogy to find myself feeling annoyed and angry. I’d invested so many hours in this 600+ page novel before the ending just, well, ended. After pages and pages of preaching to the reader about how one should view and respond to the human condition, the author just gave up. No bow tied up to make sense of the endless monologues on how people are less than. No moment of redemption to justify the absolutely nutter behavior displayed by some characters. No nugget to carry forward from the time spent with the author. Nada! Instead the author told press the ending’s design was intentional so as to not diminish the energy of the last chapter. The ending was meant to be vague and confusing.

Huh?

I have a suspicion as to why I’m so worked up over a string of lackluster books.

As Joan Didion famously said in the opening paragraph of “The White Album,” “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” Yes, we humans have used storytelling to make sense of the world around us. Stories explain why we do what we do and why we want what we want. The format of a story invites us to cast ourselves as the lead, able to understand in a way that only an outsider can. When you are too deep in the woods, you really will miss the forest for the trees.

We are not all natural storytellers, of course, and this is why for centuries people have traded time and things of value in exchange for the ability to watch plays or hear music or read text. The consumer relies on the creator for transportation out of the muck and mire of our mundane days. That transcendent experience of being immersed in art has the power to reframe a mindset and restore hope. To invest time in a story is a leap of faith. To have the story buckle and fold under the weight of unrealistic ideology feels like a slap in the face. I do not read novels to learn how one man or woman feels the world should be – that’s what op-eds are for. No, I read novels to understand why the world is as it is. Sadly, it appears most of today’s novelists have mistaken their fictional venue for the editorial pages.

Is it any wonder kids – particularly young men – are devouring classic literature and then taking to the open frontiers of the internet to share their experience of living amongst fictional characters for hundreds of pages? (See this clip and this clip for examples.)

I think I will follow their lead and make the choice to hit pause on the bestsellers in favor of re-reading my favorite classics for a while. There’s so much heaviness all around us at the moment which means every small choice reverberates in a mighty way. The choice between 10 minutes of scrolling versus 10 minutes of reading can directly translate to the status of your mental health.

In times of uncertainty, reading can be a powerful stabilizer and comfort. You just have to do a better job than I have done of choosing which books to read.

This hymn is a comfort and a powerful reminder in times like these.

Instead of attending a Super Bowl party or watching the game (and ads!!) from our cozy den this year, my husband and I are joining a friend for a viewing party at a sports bar. You buy tickets to gain entry, and in turn they provide wall-to-wall TVs and a buffet of all the usual Super Bowl fare. I’m most looking forward to seeing everyone’s reactions to the commercials. If you’re hosting a party of your own and in need of recipes, this list has a solid offering of classic dishes to pair with the big game.

In keeping with the Y2K comeback, Paris Hilton recently gave a sorta insightful interview where she talked about her experience with paparazzi, fame, and how undiagnosed ADHD contributed to the intensity of her life in the early aughts. Audio here and video here.

Would you try ear seeding to alleviate anxiety or to give your skincare routine a boost?

18 Valentine’s Day items to add to your basket next time you’re at Trader Joe’s

For my fellow Apple devotees out there, Airdrop can feel like a magical tool…when it works. I recently learned about this tool that might help you in those times when your Airdrop just isn’t dropping like it should or when you are trying to share files with a green phone (Android), PC, or other platform.

If you’re dreaming of warmer days, maybe planning a garden will give you the motivation to keep moving through this very cold winter? American Meadows has quite a few things on sale, including dahlia tubers at 20% off. If dahlias seem too high-maintenance, maybe these zinnia seeds (for less than $7!) will work for you? Side note: Floret’s Dahlia Experiment was an interesting read.

Over the weekend, I saw quite a few posts about Clawdbot-turned-Moltbot. In short, people are using AI the way one might work with a personal assistant. For example, people are apparently using their AI assistants to call restaurants and book reservations for them.

The first clinical trial to cure glaucoma has begun:

“What’s interesting is that the trial is based on a growing hypothesis that ‘aging isn’t damage, it’s a loss of information.’ The study is hoping to fix glaucoma by ‘resetting’ certain genes in your body. Much of the hype and excitement about peptides is because peptides remind parts of your body to function better again.” (Source)

Ideas to make your bedroom feel like a 5-star hotel.

What Dante’s inferno and the endless winter in C.S. Lewis’ Narnia have in common.

I was today-years-old when I learned sleeping porches were linked to treatment for tuberculosis. And here I thought it was just a way to deal with the summer heat!

What it was like to visit a Medieval tavern.

Men have grown taller and heavier at twice the rate of women over the past century.

Thoughts on dressing for winter. (See also, wear sweaters as scarves and wear the fun socks).

Still can’t believe Catherine O’Hara isn’t in the world with us anymore. Here are a few good collections of her work: CBC News, a 15 minute string of clips, and a collection of her best clips from Schitt’s Creek.

Now to get back outside where I can continue chipping away at this snowcrete! Hope you are warm and safe wherever you are.

The corner of the world I call home has been braced for snow – and lots of it – for a week. Cancellation is as much a part of preparations for these types of storms as is panic buying milk and bread. So it would have made perfect sense for my husband and me to cancel our trip out west to celebrate a childhood friend’s milestone birthday. But seeing as I’m the woman who drove through a snow storm to meet her friend’s infant twins, cancelling this trip was not an idea that entered my mind. Instead, we changed our flights to allow us to celebrate and race a winter storm across the country.

Our celebratory weekend was be held in a town nestled high up in the Rocky Mountains. The drive from the airport to our destination was gorgeous. As I watched the jagged contours of the Rocky Mountains from the car window, I thought about how increasingly rare it is for people to simply show up for one another – let alone endure any bit of hardship to do so.

I suppose this “cancel culture” is tethered to the fact that modern life tricks us into believing we are quite large and comfortable in our lives. We are able to instantly order our days and backfill our needs. Those mammoth rocks reminded me that all of us in this great big world are all, in fact, quite small and quite similar to one another. I was filled with a sense of wonder as I thought of all the people who’d come before me to this place and felt the same sense of smallness and fragility. The vastness of that landscape allowed my perspective to shift so that I could see my burdens were mostly self imposed and trivial. The mountains stood before me as a testament to the fact that the biggest things in life cannot be controlled by technology or solved by the borrowed power of politics. No, what I saw before me was a harsh environment where the whistling wind could throw boulders onto the gold-rush town below or a hungry bear could overturn a campsite in an instant.

As we climbed higher and higher up into those ragged mountains, I thought about how the harshness of life fuels our ordinary moments with peace and contentment. And I thought back on the flurry of essays I’d read in recent days about showing up for others in their times of joy and times of need despite a current culture that entices us to choose self over others. To quietly cancel instead of showing up.

If we can all agree that life can be hard and difficult, why have we become so quick to find reasons to excuse ourselves from celebrating the joys in the lives of others?

The opinion piece that spawned the theory “Always Go to the Funeral” touches on this question but in an obligatory and self-focused way. “‘Always go to the funeral’ means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don’t feel like it. I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don’t really have to and I definitely don’t want to.”

I regret to inform that author that the joys of life are not catalogued in columns of “don’t really have to” and “definitely don’t want to.” No, the joys of life are framed by moments when we look past ourselves to connect with others in the midst of whatever storms life throws our way. The joys of life are celebrated alongside those who matter to us – and us to them. The joys of life involve being seen and known.

In my view, the funeral-theory author falls short of identifying the greater lesson to be learned and gift to be gained by showing up in the lives of others. The author of this essay, however, articulates the root cause of why we indulge in cancellations to ignore our privilege to “go where you’re invited.”

In short, a glut of flakiness appears to have fallen upon modern society.

“The brunch-that-never-was came to mind when I watched a video with therapist Esther Perel. She spoke about the rising incidence of people cancelling events at the last minute, with various excuses (some good, some lame) for why they can’t attend. Perel described a woman who prepared brunch for six friends, only to have five bail an hour before it was scheduled to start.

There are more than 1,000 comments on her video, many offering heartwrenching examples of similar experiences. One woman described her bridal shower, where a friend’s grandmother prepared an elaborate celebration, but 19 guests cancelled the day of. Only one showed up. The woman said it was embarrassing and dehumanizing.

Another described a Halloween party that she spent days planning. It cost a lot to buy the food, decorations, and cocktail mix, then only three out of 12 people showed up. “I felt unimportant,” the woman wrote. She stopped hosting events.

One commenter said a friend cancelled by text 40 minutes before she was supposed to arrive, saying she ‘didn’t want to wake her husband up from a nap.’

I could go on and on with more examples, not just from Perel’s post, which clearly hit a nerve, but also from my own experiences. It appears we’re living in a time when people don’t hesitate to bail on their friends for reasons that range from justifiable to absurd.

This reveals an appalling lack of etiquette that gives zero consideration to what it takes to host an event of any kind. If someone never hosts, then it might be understandable that they don’t grasp the effort that goes into it, but surely they can gauge the human impact. No one likes to feel rejected or sidelined, and turning down an event invitation at the last minute feels incredibly hurtful to any host. It essentially says, ‘You don’t matter enough for me to show up.’” (Source)

I pondered these two perspectives as our rented sedan made its way to a ski town stretched out under giant mountains. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I recalled times I’d chosen to be selfish instead of simply showing up as we climbed out of the valley via switchback turns under a soft grey sky. And I remembered the immense joy I felt when friends turned up for my milestones as we turned onto the neighborhood street where we would soon greet our dear friends who’d invited us to celebrate with them.

Like so many things in life, that big winter storm was more hype than snow. Small flecks of sleet are raining down now as I drink my favorite tea from Australia while I sit under my favorite Irish wool blanket and write to you before getting back to devouring The Bee Sting by an Irish novelist. The modern world and all her conveniences are something amazing, aren’t they?

Sometimes you can’t be there in person. I’ve found one of the absolute best ways to show you care from afar is sending flowers or a small plant. Urban Stems is my go-to, and they’ve yet to let me down. The selection is fantastic, they ship all over, and their customer service is top notch. Here’s a link for $25 off your first order if you are looking to tell someone you’re thinking about them.

You should spend more money on clothes…but not for the reasons you think.

Unpacking what makes “East of Eden” such a beautiful novel.

Confession: I turned up my snobbish nose when I saw “the only olive oil Martha Stewart uses at home.” Italian, Greek, Spanish, or go home, I say!

Have you heard about the guy biking his way to Japan from the Arctic Ocean via the Americas, Africa, Russia, Taliban-controlled Afghanistan, and Iran?? Incredibly inspiring stuff. His Instagram feels like the sort of content social media was created for. I stumbled across his story via the Sunday Desk column by It’s Meseidy:

“Here’s what gets me: this isn’t some polished travel influencer content. Some nights he’s in a hotel. Many nights, he’s taken in by strangers, families who don’t speak his language but feed him anyway. And some nights? He’s camping in abandoned buildings, alone with his thoughts and whatever wildlife decided to claim the place first.” (Source)

Will we see more green kitchens in 2026? Domino sure thinks so.

On replacing happy hour with admin night…with friends.

Pottery night at home – maybe a fun Valentine’s activity with friends or kids?

Oh boy. Ads are coming to AI.

These autism-friendly vacation rentals feature dead bolts on the doors, muted colors, and indoor swings.

When not to use your airline miles to book a flight.

Gen Z is obsessed with Y2K fashion. And now I feel ancient.

Have I ever told you how much I enjoy visiting Yellowstone National Park? It’s spectacular. The crowds in summer? Not so much. This article has me wondering if maybe Yellowstone really is better in the winter.

Matchy-matchy is back! How to pull off pattern drenching in your home.

Let’s all hope this short story about AI stays fictional. T’would be quite a scary premise if it were true!

Hope it’s cozy wherever you are this week.

Note: This post includes an Amazon Affiliate link. If you make a purchase via that link, I may earn a small commission. Thank you kindly!

If social media is any indication, I am not the only one who had a bumpy landing into 2026. People who are usually silent in my feed are starting the year off by looking back and sharing decade-old photos as part of the “2026 is the new 2016” trend. When chaos abounds, it’s definitely more comforting to take refuge in nostalgia than to sign up for Veganuary.

But there’s still time to take back this year.

There is no rule book for taking a breath and hitting restart. This is especially true as the days count down to the Lunar New Year when the Year of the Snake will yield way to the Year of the Horse. It feels especially poetic to have an opportunity to shed this handful of hard winter weeks that we are walking through, doesn’t it? Looking at the Lunar New Year calendar provides an opportunity for a restart, so to speak, and that is certainly where my mind is at the moment!

Part of reframing and restarting will likely involve taking an inventory of how we spend our time and taking stock of the things and people we allow to influence us. For me, a 24/7 news cycle will always feed the furnace of anxiety in my mind, and I know I am not alone in this.

A teaching professor at Northeastern University named Kristen Lee spoke with a reporter not too long ago about how the 24/7 news cycle can pose tremendous harm to people’s health. From the article: “‘We are inundated with a lot of information, misinformation and disinformation constantly,’ says Lee, a teaching professor in behavioral science within the health care and biotechnology domain at Northeastern. ‘It can really affect our well-being if we are being misled into a perception that the world is completely on fire.’”

The media thrives on a “if it bleeds, it leads” theory, and so the news platforms and social media accounts continue to exploit human psychology by utilizing negativity bias and attention loops to keep us scrolling. If the first step is admitting you have a problem, I admit that this empath writing to you now has a difficult time managing the desire to stay informed with her sensitive brain.

Before we completely shed the Year of the Snake and gallop into the Year of the Horse, I’m taking a few steps to reinforce a few boundaries in my life. I will still silence alerts for news, emails, and most social media functions on my phone. I’m trying to take more control of my digital life by limiting the time I am on my phone without having to purchase a device like Brick to do it for me. (We shall see how well I do without a gadget that can physically intervene.) I am not apologizing for being slow to respond – if it’s an emergency, people know how to get a hold of me.

I’m also giving myself total permission to not know. I don’t need to read all the news. In fact, I unsubscribed from one of the newspapers I used to occasionally read. This paper was a major offender when it came to using shock-and-awe as clickbait. I’m still in the process of unsubscribing from media email lists. And I am making more time to read books and sew.

Writer and podcaster Blake Guichet shared a few thoughts on this subject earlier this week, and her thoughts have served as an encouragement to be vigilant about guarding my time and influences. Maybe her words will encourage you, too?

“You can stay informed without being consumed,” she said via a social media post. “You can have compassion for the people living this without letting your peace be destroyed by it. Peace is not denial. It’s choosing where you place your attention.”

If you still have holiday money burning a hole in your pocket, here are a two fun shops to peruse:

• Fish’s Eddy has a collection of quirky trays that are perfect for serving or collecting items around your house.

• MoMA Design Store curated a list of items that are perfect for a new year refresh.

Which Milan aperitivo bar are you?

Did Harry Styles book another residency at Madison Square Garden? More importantly (to me), will Chelsea Porter quilt him a jacket and deliver it stageside during the show like she did for Benson Boone?

This just in, vintage lighters are a thing.

Two health trends I predict we will see more of this year: bath salts (especially bougie ones like these from Erewhon) and FIBER IS THE NEW PROTEIN.

See also: how to spend less time online and how to read more this year.

Yet another article on how AI is disrupting industries. This time, it’s fashion advertising that is seeing the tides change thanks to AI platforms like Shopify.

An article about how Gourmet Magazine is (sorta) back in a very punk rock way. AKA, unsanctioned and in newsletter form. I love it!

These 11 amazing Airbnbs in Joshua Tree, California, have me wanting to completely redecorate.

If you’re a film buff, you may want to build your vacation plans around this article full of instantly recognizable hotels from movies.

59 ideas for Super Bowl appetizers.

I’m very excited for brooches to be back, but I’m not quite sure what my thoughts are on the idea of a shoulder brooch.

This was sorta interesting: A writer must be four people at once.

I was reminded of how brilliant Billy Collins is as a poet when I came across his poem about a lanyard.

Take good care of yourself this weekend!

My brother and I see the world through very similar lenses. Our personalities overlap in many areas, too. When I am frustrated with him, it’s usually because I’m bumping into a part of myself. Over the Christmas holiday, we spent a good chunk of time catching up and trading notes on how we sized up world events. We also traded notes on career updates, books we’d read and enjoyed, and played a very long game of “Did you read it.”

That’s when I told him about an email exchange I’d recently had with an author who, if he knew me, would likely block me straightaway. Our worldviews couldn’t be more different, but I enjoy the fact that he is a solid writer and often makes astute observations in a straightforward manner that call out my tendency to see a lot of the world in black and white. (Quite a character flaw sometimes!) My brother was a bit taken aback to learn I’d written this author out of the blue to offer a counter perspective, because while my brother and I can defend our position on a topic, we tend to shirk from conflict.

I certainly wasn’t seeking conflict the day I emailed this author. No, I’d seen an essay in which his pontifications ran off course leading him to a completely inaccurate conclusion about, well, people like me. I felt prompted to email him after following his writing for nearly a decade.

He’d written about Christianity, a topic close to my heart and a subject on which I have a mountain range of thoughts and experience. Sure, his point of view is at the opposite end of the spectrum from mine, but the categorization he made was unlike him in that it was so overly generalized it was almost cartoonish. I replied to his Substack article with a quick note of gratitude and an observation about the generalization that I interpreted as deeply hurtful for many people, including myself.

Maybe an hour after I hit send, I saw his name in my inbox. I got a bit of a nervous rush. Would he be upset that I’d written? (Side note: why did I care so much!? Ah, the trappings of a people pleaser.) Tentatively, I opened the email from the writer I’d simultaneously placed on a pedestal and labeled an ideological enemy.

The message was short and kind. He recognized that sliver of overlap on the VIN diagram of our beliefs and said he was glad I’d written.

This was not an illustration of the Horseshoe Theory at play here, but rather it was a powerful moment of accountability for me. That exchange served as an instant flood light on my blind spots. How easy it is for me to categorize someone I’ve never met as “one of those people” and vow to never again engage. But in doing so, I’ve dehumanized them to some degree. Sure, there are toxic people in our lives who may not deserve our time and energy, and we must be vigilant to maintain strong boundaries where they are concerned, but to simply write someone off because they are at the opposite end of a spectrum from you is dangerous behavior.

There is no doubt that tensions are high around the world. Brave women and men raise a tricolor flag adorned with a golden lion in one country. In another country, men and women welcome home loved ones who’d been erroneously imprisoned for speaking out, all while still remaining uncertain about their nation’s future. And closer to home, people grapple with how to stand up for what they believe is just and right.

The Bible verse that directs people to love their neighbor as themselves seems especially simplistic and out of reach in divided times. The truth is, that verse is packed with helpful meaning that is easily glossed over. My email exchange reminded me of an incredible book Søren Kierkegaard wrote called “Works of Love” in which he takes the care required to properly unpack that short directive.

“When it is said, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ this contains what is presupposed, that every person loves himself,” Kierkegaard says before moving on to point out that this is not the poetic type of love, mind you, but instead is a strong emotion rooted in service and consideration.

Considering we do not necessarily choose our neighbors, the idea of loving any ol’ person whom you did not select with as much as you love yourself seems ridiculous if not impossible.

“But when the one who loves builds up, it is the very opposite of tearing down, because the one who loves does something to himself – he presupposes that love is present in the other person – which certainly is the very opposite of doing something to the other person…Have you not experienced this yourself, my listener? If anyone has ever spoken to you in such a way or treated you in such a way that you really felt built up, this was because you vividly perceived how he presupposed love to be in you.”

I suppose it could be true that loving yourself will bear the fruit of you then loving others – even those individuals you may not necessarily like. Sometimes the first step to that love is sending an email.

I’m not really one for Valentine’s clothing, but LAKE’s Valentine’s capsule might just be the thing that changes my position on this. I have a few sets of their pajamas (minus the Valentine hearts), and they last for ages. Highly recommend.

How to think more critically.

Here’s a list of what’s new on Netflix this month, and here’s a list of new movies to stream at home this year.

Fashion predictions for 2026. Not sure if I’m supportive of the dropped waist situation coming our way.

Have you ever heard of underpainting your makeup?

Apparently “grocery shop tourism” is something you can expect this year, and I am here for it.

“Skyscanner’s recent trend report backs this up: it found that 35 per cent of global travelers plan to check out or shop at local grocery stores during their next holiday. It’s also a bona fide trend on TikTok, with more than 50 million posts related to grocery store travel. This trend dovetails with travelers’ desires to experience destinations more authentically, like those who live there do, offering a cultural deep dive into local life—which also happens to be affordable.” (Source)

I thought this lesson learned from a life of knitting was especially helpful, “As I’ve mentioned many times before, my mom likes to say about knitting and life: “Don’t read too far ahead in the knitting pattern.” It’s good advice because reading too far ahead in anything can make you feel overwhelmed. Just start! Take it one row (or day) at a time.”

Floret added a bunch of new online workshops in case you had “Grow a Gorgeous Garden” on your list of resolutions for this year.

Has anyone attempted to replicate the recipe for a sushi bake that’s making the rounds over on TikTok?

Intrigued by this recipe for a delicious high-protein dip that includes 5 ingredients – one of which I have never heard of before!

These signs in Japan are made using duct tape?! No wonder the man behind the signs won an award!

Sunday Gardens are set to be a thing in 2026. So, what the heck are they?

This BBC episode about Georgian beauty secrets was really fascinating. Boiling wine to serve as a facial to remove wrinkles? Yikes!

Instead of being super duper aspirational and imitating high-status people who can afford to countersignal, Rob Henderson thinks you should pay attention to those people just slightly ahead of you.

“​​An example from Ogilvy Vice Chairman Rory Sutherland: If you’re a top executive, turning up to work on a bicycle is a high-status activity because it was a choice and not a necessity. But if you work at Pizza Hut, turning up on a bike means you can’t afford a car.” (Source)

And on a very serious note, people around the world are wondering if the regime in Iran will fall. Now is a good reminder that history is cyclical and offers us clues. This article is from 2018, but it has a good collection of historical occurrences documented in the Old Testament that took place in the land we call Iran today. The Persian legacy is remarkable to review.

If this year feels like it’s getting off to a rocky start, maybe make plans to celebrate the Lunar New Year (aka Chinese New Year) this year and officially hit reset on February 17th.

An Amazon Affiliate link lurks in this post. If you choose to make a purchase, I may earn a small commission. Thank you kindly!

When I was in elementary school, I sat down on my bed and made a list of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I recall writing three professions. I’m guessing I wrote “teacher” and “veterinarian” as the first two options for they are popular choices for a 7 or 8 year old girl. While I cannot specifically recall items one and two from that list, I can vividly remember writing the third option. I’d saved it for last because I was afraid to speak it out loud for fear of being told it wasn’t possible.

When I’d completed my self-imposed assignment, I asked my dad to take a seat on my pink bed in my upstairs bedroom and review the choices I’d documented on my small lined notepad.

“I’m going to be one of these when I grow up,” I said as I handed over the paper.

“I see,” my dad replied. “Well, if you want to be a writer, you’ll want to remember it is spelled w-r-i-t-e-r and not r-i-t-e-r.”

His guidance was not unkind for he saw how I plowed through paperbacks borrowed from the library. I, like him, fell in love with the written word early in life. I think he knew my natural aversion to mathematics would pretty much rule out being a veterinarian. And I loved a lazy morning too much to acclimate to the early mornings of teachers. Books were my refuge, so I imagine he saw a natural outgrowth from reading to writing in this child who needed to spend more time with a dictionary.

I went on to work for my high school yearbook, study journalism at university, and get public relations jobs in entertainment and higher education. All these activities and vocations required writing, but it was a sterile and safe sort of writing. Documenting what and why for a news article or compiling a list of facts to promote a new album or university building. I was scared to write for myself. In my quest to overcome this fear, I enrolled in classes at UCLA that promised to help me develop as a creative writer. I learned many helpful skills, but my fear continued to hold me back.

When a job I loved careened off a cliff not too long ago, a mentor encouraged me to create something that was just mine – even if only for that season as I navigated my way out of the abyss and into a new vocation. I decided to resurrect an old blog and commit to writing at least one post each week. Substack seemed the natural corner of the internet for me to build this little venture. Since Substack encourages a very focused type of writing that easily allows for promotion by highlighting specific categories, I originally thought about creating a space that explored the fact that despite careful planning, I was living a life I hadn’t planned on.

But I’m not that serious of a person, and I couldn’t mine such a sensitive topic for content week after week.

Instead, each week I delighted in sharing articles I’d found and in recommending gift ideas that would hopefully help people feel seen and loved. I worked to rebuild my hope by continuously flipping the record, so to speak, when it came to my circumstances and experiences. I’d push past the volumes of expectations I’d failed to reach and identify the beauty in the circumstances that life had handed to me. I know many of my fellow music lovers will agree that often our most beloved songs come from the B-side of the record and not the chart-topping A-side.

As popular writers and influencers flocked to the platform, I watched the number of their subscribers swell while mine stayed below the number of recipients on my holiday card list. No matter. I wasn’t writing to grow numbers or please marketing departments. I was writing for myself, finally. The weekend I shared my 100th post, I found myself caught off guard as I’d not been keeping track of how many posts had been published thus far. I sat back and marveled at this thing I’d built in the background of a busy life.

And yet, I still felt that familiar flush of shyness and insecurity when I talked to others about my work here. I continued to feel a profound sense of awe at those readers who interacted with my work. Several incredibly kind readers pledged their support, and yet I was paralyzed by a fear of failure as I considered turning on the function that allows Substack writers to earn revenue.

This is where you find me today, sizing up the insecurity that held me back from writing for myself and resolving to seize the courage that will propel me past this paralysis. Part of that movement means turning on the ability to collect pledges from readers — an act that for some reason feels especially vulnerable to me.

The start of the year can feel like a smothering handful of weeks, can’t it? Everyone seems to be on a quest to be smarter, richer, and smaller. The proclamation of steps others will take to achieve this level of productivity are tiring after a while. If you step back from the goal setting, you see that what people really want is to feel differently – to be more at peace, enjoying more moments of bliss, and experiencing less instances of fear and worry. They want restful sleep and the admiration of their peers. They long to forget the panic of a low balance or past-due notice. I suppose I should say “we” instead of “they” for aren’t these all things people have desired since the beginning of time? To be the director of how we spend our time and to always know plenty.

In lieu of resolutions and in search of accountability, I close this letter to you with a hope that you’ll find me this time next year still building things for myself but better at preventing my inner critic from holding myself back. This time next year, I hope I’m not quite as shy when it comes to receiving support and kindness for the things I’ve built, and that I can proudly put my true desires at the top of the list instead of buried under the safe options that others might prescribe for me.

And I have a hope for you, too. This time next year, I hope to hear you have written twelve remarkable chapters of your life. I long to hear you have filled your calendar with more hobbies, adventures, and leisure than the year prior. That you called that faraway friend when they crossed your mind and sent more letters through the post (though, you’ll have to skip this last one if you live in Denmark).

I hope when we talk this time next year, I see you standing firm in the understanding that you are marvelously wonderful just the way you are.

To those of you who have pledged your support, subscribed, written encouraging notes, and liked my posts, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is not an overstatement to say you are the reason that little girl was finally able to accomplish the goal she scribbled on a notepad decades ago. Thankfully for us all, she took her dad’s advice and learned to make frequent use of the dictionary.

Ah, we made it to Christmastide. I love this week, but I get it, I get it. This week can be an absolute buzz kill for those of you who crave routine, to-do lists and working in a full office. For others of us – like yours truly! – this collecti…

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This week was barreling along at a nice and steady pace, inching closer and closer to the holidays, when out of nowhere I had a seriously intense encounter with someone I know fairly well. This isn’t someone who sits on the front row of my life, but it is someone with whom I interact quite a bit during this season of my life.

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I’m writing to you from a car that is barrelling down the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Thanks to hotspots and a comfortable captain’s chair, I’ve created a bit of a traveling office. Weird how technology works. I can’t imagine the awe and amazement my great grandparents would have if they could see me now or see me order groceries with a small black disk covered in metal and glass pulled from my pocket. It’s easy to lose the awe in life, isn’t it?

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By now, there’s a strong chance you have gift buying fatigue. Heck, you may even be exhausted just talking about gift ideas and guides and sales. But studies show a significant number of people are buying their Christmas gifts in December. This is especially true for younger buyers and for men.

So, if you’re tired of talking about gifts I give you my full permission to scroll on by. No need to be smug about the art of the gift guide as some Substackers are doing (ahem, rude). My goal in sharing gift guides is to provide you with ideas that you haven’t already seen on a half-dozen guides. I am not paid for this work, and I could write a master class on how to fail as an Amazon Affiliate partner, so my recommendations are not driven by commission.

With the aforementioned data in mind regarding those most likely to be completing their holiday shopping this month (aka men and kids), I decided to share a guide for the ladies in your life (aka moms and wives and girlfriends) now, while we’re in the thick of December holiday shopping. Hopefully you find something that will work for someone on your list. If not for the holidays, maybe for a birthday gift?

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On Thursday afternoon, I was on a video call with several colleagues when someone brought up the weather.

“You know, we’re supposed to get snow tomorrow in DC.”

“Already! Oh yikes,” said the lady in Florida.

“Wait, tomorrow? I thought we were due to get snow on Friday,” I piped up.

“Um, yes, I believe the forecast is still for tomorrow. Tomorrow is Friday.”

“Tomorrow is Friday??? I thought today was Wednesday.”

So, that tells you how this week is going for me. It’s a week where I broke my don’t-eat-potatoes rule twice in one day (chips at lunch, fries with dinner). A week where each day’s to-do list grew longer and longer by the minute. I had an unexpected visit to the vet with my cat, and a pile of year-end reports to write so that other people could turn in their year-end reports. Sheesh.

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