Did I Just Make New Friends?
Weekend Reads v. 25.4.2026
For each friendship in your life, there was a tipping point. There was a shift from being casual acquaintances to being personally invested. There was a moment you declared each other worthy to be saved as a contact in your address book. An instance sparked the creation of a shared language of common interests and inside jokes.
This week I noticed a shift had quietly taken place with a small group of my colleagues. These individuals showed up to walk alongside me as I tiptoed through a handful of hard days. One person texted daily to check in on me, another person called, and several others stopped by. My situation was not dramatic or even remotely critical to these individuals, but it was a hard situation for me. They saw my heartbreak and responded with kindness.
To be honest, I was a little surprised they noticed yet alone cared to take time to reach out. I zoomed out a bit to take stock of these relationships I’d forged, and I saw that this act of showing up for one another had become part of a larger rhythm that developed over Monday meetings and hallway chats. At various points we’d all become curious about how each of us were faring individually, and that curiosity deepened into a personal stake into one another’s wellbeing.
When we are younger it’s easy to take the ease of making friends for granted because this movement from mere acquaintance to bestie can be swift and plentiful. Stages of life built around school or organized sports provide a shared experience that can usher friends into our lives en masse. Harrowing chapters of life that deal with illness or breakups can also bring about new avenues that lead to an expanding of our address book. As we get older, our circles seem to decrease and with that reduction comes a greater challenge to forge new friendships. (Or maybe we are all becoming increasingly more introverted with age?)
I certainly am not as interested in filling up every.single.evening with after-work drinks with friends, concerts, dinners, or classes. When I was in my twenties, I had to fiercely guard my downtime by blocking off one night to stay in. Now I must summon the effort to be social more than one night a week. Maybe it’s the fatigue that comes with age, or maybe it’s being more comfortable with my own company that’s caused this reversal, who can say. When I look back on seasons of my life when I was the new person in town and deliberately tried to forge new friendships, I can’t help but notice how much work went into those relationships. I suspect I am not alone in this based on the sheer volume of articles filled with advice for adults looking to make new friends.
There does seem to be a bit of a recipe for making new friends, however, and that recipe often requires work. For one, I’ve had to follow Ariel’s advice and “be where the people are.” Ordering Thai food and staying in every night isn’t likely to be a winning strategy for meeting new people nor is constantly tuning out the world with headphones. Small talk is usually the key to opening doors when it comes to getting to know someone. Second, identifying shared experiences or beliefs is the secret sauce when it comes to building friendships. This often involves curiosity and asking questions. And finally, for some of us it takes a bit of bravery to move from chit-chat in the corridor at work to storing one another’s details in your phones. Hooray if you’re the brave one to initiate this transition. And then reach out! Even a quick text can show you care and that you are invested in a person.
Now, there are times that one person’s definition of friendship wildly differs from another’s. I think of a wedding invitation I received for someone I’d have certainly described as a casual acquaintance, for example. I suppose how we define friendship is a conversation in and of itself to be had another time.
But making friends – that’s our topic du jour. So, do you have any tried and true methods for making new friends?
Have we already talked about the concept of “third places?” I kind of love it, so it’s worth mentioning again if it’s the second time I’ve brought it up. Lately, I’m finding the hole-in-the-wall-bar-slash-restaurant next door to my work has become a beloved third place. I mainly go there for lunch (I’m reliving my early 20’s with a Caesar wrap, everybody!) though sometimes I find myself there for happy hour. There’s something about being welcomed by the staff and asked if I’ll have my regular that makes me feel very comforted. Do you have a “third place?”
I love this idea to turn scaffolding into giant displays of art.
How do we feel about French mustard with walnuts? I heard really good things about this one.
Talk about talent. This Substack uses GIFS to review books. Their review of Wuthering Heights might be better than the actual book. (Sorry not sorry I love Charlotte’s work more.)
These cottages in Cornwall are just so charming. I especially love the wallpapers and painted furniture.
Beverage stations and appliance garages are the latest in home trends.
This mushroom stool is so lovely (and so many dollars).
James Clear’s advice on finding someone wonderful is, well, wonderful:
“Exceptional people are rare. When you find someone wonderful, invest in them.
When you find a great employee, pay them well.
When you find a great friend, prioritize the relationship.
When you find a great spouse, out-love them each day.
Relationships are probably the most important part of life. Take care of the great ones.” (Source)
Though some history is painful to recount, all history is important to remember. “You Are the Führer’s Unrequited Love” tells the story of one of the greatest lies in human history and its author, Albert Speer, who was Hilter’s favorite architect and Minister of Armaments and War Production.
I’m incredibly pleased Plum Sykes declared loafers to be chic because loafers are my go-to for work:
“As a child I was taught to fear ‘the woman in comfortable shoes’ - the phrase brought to mind frowning headmistresses, stern receptionists and over-exhausted hospital matrons, none of whom exuded glamour. Now, not so much: I think loafers are incredibly classy…” (Source)
Ideas for styling graphic T-shirts.
Lidl (yes, the very affordable grocery store) is opening a pub? I have so many questions.
QVC will file for bankruptcy. While I can totally see how this happened, what with the Internet and all, this story still surprised me a bit.
People are turning to Moogle Gaps to get lost…on purpose.
If you or someone you know is absolutely the worst at taking photos, this contest is for you. Iceland Air believes even the worst photographer can take stunning pictures of Iceland and is running this contest to prove that theory. In addition to a fully funded trip to Iceland, the winner will win a nice chunk of cash.
Enjoy your day, and remember to be a dear friend to yourself ❤️
Loafers ARE chic and comfy (Weejuns are tough to break in, but man, when you do...!)
Cheers to friends new and old. ;)