Email Your Enemies
Weekend Reads v. 10.1.2026
My brother and I see the world through very similar lenses. Our personalities overlap in many areas, too. When I am frustrated with him, it’s usually because I’m bumping into a part of myself. Over the Christmas holiday, we spent a good chunk of time catching up and trading notes on how we sized up world events. We also traded notes on career updates, books we’d read and enjoyed, and played a very long game of “Did you read it.”
That’s when I told him about an email exchange I’d recently had with an author who, if he knew me, would likely block me straightaway. Our worldviews couldn’t be more different, but I enjoy the fact that he is a solid writer and often makes astute observations in a straightforward manner that call out my tendency to see a lot of the world in black and white. (Quite a character flaw sometimes!) My brother was a bit taken aback to learn I’d written this author out of the blue to offer a counter perspective, because while my brother and I can defend our position on a topic, we tend to shirk from conflict.
I certainly wasn’t seeking conflict the day I emailed this author. No, I’d seen an essay in which his pontifications ran off course leading him to a completely inaccurate conclusion about, well, people like me. I felt prompted to email him after following his writing for nearly a decade.
He’d written about Christianity, a topic close to my heart and a subject on which I have a mountain range of thoughts and experience. Sure, his point of view is at the opposite end of the spectrum from mine, but the categorization he made was unlike him in that it was so overly generalized it was almost cartoonish. I replied to his Substack article with a quick note of gratitude and an observation about the generalization that I interpreted as deeply hurtful for many people, including myself.
Maybe an hour after I hit send, I saw his name in my inbox. I got a bit of a nervous rush. Would he be upset that I’d written? (Side note: why did I care so much!? Ah, the trappings of a people pleaser.) Tentatively, I opened the email from the writer I’d simultaneously placed on a pedestal and labeled an ideological enemy.
The message was short and kind. He recognized that sliver of overlap on the VIN diagram of our beliefs and said he was glad I’d written.
This was not an illustration of the Horseshoe Theory at play here, but rather it was a powerful moment of accountability for me. That exchange served as an instant flood light on my blind spots. How easy it is for me to categorize someone I’ve never met as “one of those people” and vow to never again engage. But in doing so, I’ve dehumanized them to some degree. Sure, there are toxic people in our lives who may not deserve our time and energy, and we must be vigilant to maintain strong boundaries where they are concerned, but to simply write someone off because they are at the opposite end of a spectrum from you is dangerous behavior.
There is no doubt that tensions are high around the world. Brave women and men raise a tricolor flag adorned with a golden lion in one country. In another country, men and women welcome home loved ones who’d been erroneously imprisoned for speaking out, all while still remaining uncertain about their nation’s future. And closer to home, people grapple with how to stand up for what they believe is just and right.
The Bible verse that directs people to love their neighbor as themselves seems especially simplistic and out of reach in divided times. The truth is, that verse is packed with helpful meaning that is easily glossed over. My email exchange reminded me of an incredible book Søren Kierkegaard wrote called “Works of Love” in which he takes the care required to properly unpack that short directive.
“When it is said, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ this contains what is presupposed, that every person loves himself,” Kierkegaard says before moving on to point out that this is not the poetic type of love, mind you, but instead is a strong emotion rooted in service and consideration.
Considering we do not necessarily choose our neighbors, the idea of loving any ol’ person whom you did not select with as much as you love yourself seems ridiculous if not impossible.
“But when the one who loves builds up, it is the very opposite of tearing down, because the one who loves does something to himself – he presupposes that love is present in the other person – which certainly is the very opposite of doing something to the other person…Have you not experienced this yourself, my listener? If anyone has ever spoken to you in such a way or treated you in such a way that you really felt built up, this was because you vividly perceived how he presupposed love to be in you.”
I suppose it could be true that loving yourself will bear the fruit of you then loving others – even those individuals you may not necessarily like. Sometimes the first step to that love is sending an email.
I’m not really one for Valentine’s clothing, but LAKE’s Valentine’s capsule might just be the thing that changes my position on this. I have a few sets of their pajamas (minus the Valentine hearts), and they last for ages. Highly recommend.
How to think more critically.
Here’s a list of what’s new on Netflix this month, and here’s a list of new movies to stream at home this year.
Fashion predictions for 2026. Not sure if I’m supportive of the dropped waist situation coming our way.
Have you ever heard of underpainting your makeup?
Apparently “grocery shop tourism” is something you can expect this year, and I am here for it.
“Skyscanner’s recent trend report backs this up: it found that 35 per cent of global travelers plan to check out or shop at local grocery stores during their next holiday. It’s also a bona fide trend on TikTok, with more than 50 million posts related to grocery store travel. This trend dovetails with travelers’ desires to experience destinations more authentically, like those who live there do, offering a cultural deep dive into local life—which also happens to be affordable.” (Source)
I thought this lesson learned from a life of knitting was especially helpful, “As I’ve mentioned many times before, my mom likes to say about knitting and life: “Don’t read too far ahead in the knitting pattern.” It’s good advice because reading too far ahead in anything can make you feel overwhelmed. Just start! Take it one row (or day) at a time.”
Floret added a bunch of new online workshops in case you had “Grow a Gorgeous Garden” on your list of resolutions for this year.
Has anyone attempted to replicate the recipe for a sushi bake that’s making the rounds over on TikTok?
Intrigued by this recipe for a delicious high-protein dip that includes 5 ingredients – one of which I have never heard of before!
These signs in Japan are made using duct tape?! No wonder the man behind the signs won an award!
Sunday Gardens are set to be a thing in 2026. So, what the heck are they?
This BBC episode about Georgian beauty secrets was really fascinating. Boiling wine to serve as a facial to remove wrinkles? Yikes!
Instead of being super duper aspirational and imitating high-status people who can afford to countersignal, Rob Henderson thinks you should pay attention to those people just slightly ahead of you.
“An example from Ogilvy Vice Chairman Rory Sutherland: If you’re a top executive, turning up to work on a bicycle is a high-status activity because it was a choice and not a necessity. But if you work at Pizza Hut, turning up on a bike means you can’t afford a car.” (Source)
And on a very serious note, people around the world are wondering if the regime in Iran will fall. Now is a good reminder that history is cyclical and offers us clues. This article is from 2018, but it has a good collection of historical occurrences documented in the Old Testament that took place in the land we call Iran today. The Persian legacy is remarkable to review.
If this year feels like it’s getting off to a rocky start, maybe make plans to celebrate the Lunar New Year (aka Chinese New Year) this year and officially hit reset on February 17th.
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