The Case for Writing a Failure Resume
Weekend Reads v. 20.7.2025
This week, two gents were shuffled from another department to mine. In the midst of the usual onboarding activities like introductions and setting up new workstations, there was a constant stream of get-to-know-you conversations. These guys already had their new job in the bag, but I couldn’t help feeling like they were in audition mode all week.
It’s natural to condense your awesomeness to a few sound bites when you are trying to quickly plug into a new group. And I suppose it’s natural to constantly refer to the incredible (!) projects you played a critical role in (!) as you grapple with learning the acronyms and priorities of a new group. Unfortunately for these gents, I am rarely interested in sales pitches. Instead, I am more interested in understanding the how of your journey to greatness. You didn’t emerge onto the job scene confident in your specific abilities and talents. You stumbled and failed your way to this impromptu sales pitch in my office on a Tuesday afternoon. Tell me about those misses. That’s where I’ll recognize your strengths.
I’ve certainly learned more from my failures than from my successes. In fact, the number of my successes pales in comparison to the number of my failures. I suspect this might be true for most people based on the number of times I have heard influencers and researchers reference a “failure resume.” I think the term comes from a Stanford professor named Tina Seelig. I am unsure of the term’s creator because I first encountered the concept via blogger/designer/party-planner extraordinaire Jordan Ferney. I also think this exercise of examining one’s failures might be why the unofficial motto of the tech industry is to “fail fast.”
To look back over your failures is a humbling exercise. There were those times you faked it so hard that you never made it. Or those times you took the initiative to get training on a new set of skills only to be knee-deep in courses when the realization hit that you actually hate agile project management / real estate / social media marketing / whatever. Or how about the times you excitedly took on a leadership role only to discover you are terrible at managing up. There are so many examples of failing, it is remarkable people don’t talk about their personal failures more.
But we don’t go to the movies to see superheroes fail, do we?
Thankfully, we aren’t superheroes nor are we limited to the pages of a script or novel. We are real people, brimming with character and flaws and quirks. We most assuredly are better managers when we get a handle on our own shortcomings. When we see our own areas of weakness, we’re more likely to give people a bit more grace when they stumble. Being accountable for our own misstep strengthens the culture of our workplaces, according to this essay by Freda Donnelly.
“Authority without accountability is a recipe for burnout, turnover, and trauma. If we take care of the inanimate possessions within our realm of stewardship so that they’re able to do their best work—getting the car an oil change, charging our laptops for the office, removing dust from the mirror—how much more so should we be managing the human capital entrusted to us? Good managers can create repair and possibility. It’s culture-setting work. It’s servant leadership. It’s what proper stewardship looks like, and it matters. When someone finally lands under a leader who respects their humanity, it changes everything. Finally, they can progress to a higher-level of work because they’re not worried about shifting floorboards. When you show up for them, it makes them want to show up for you.”
The same can be said for our personal relationships, too. Absolutely no one is perfect, so we aren’t fooling anyone when we trick ourselves into thinking otherwise. Everyone has a failure resume, and yet not everyone is brave enough to put pen to paper to document theirs.
I’ve found facing my failures head on has allowed me to be kinder to myself and to focus on the things I can do well. I’m also a heck of a lot more patient at work when others put tirelessly on the charade of greatness to cover up for a misstep. If I had a nickel for the number of times I’ve wanted to ask my colleagues if we could trade notes on our failure resumes, I’d be retired by now.
How to “antique” your hydrangeas.
12 days in Austria – the perfect family-friendly itinerary.
Should I keep reading this novel? It’s been on so many must-read lists, but I have to admit I am struggling to keep going. It feels like a great example of “this is why you show the reader and don’t tell.” p.s. If someone out there wants to read it after I finish (or give up on it), message me and I’ll mail it to you!
Speaking of books, here are the books the NYTimes says are the best of the first half of 2025. (Gift link)
Never in my life did I think Architectural Digest would describe a home’s design palette as “swampy, moody, and green,” but that day has arrived! The magazine profiled home a Kiawah Island, South Carolina that feels like a boutique hotel that apparently gives swamp vibes.
Taking a break from social media can do wonders for your mental health, but it can also feel lonely.
I cherish the James Avery bracelet a friend gave me for my birthday a few years back, so this story about the deeper meaning the jeweler’s iconic charms have taken on after the Texas floods was very poignant to me.
Take this quiz to find out if you could have landed a job at Vogue in the 90’s. Looks like I may have stayed in the mailroom for a while after taking this quiz.
Here’s a really cool article about the NASA Ames Research Center and a public collection of 5,000 photos that showcase incredible innovation – like the world’s largest wind tunnel and all sorts of aircraft.
An exhibit of Wes Anderson’s design work will be on display in London later this year.
Beautiful art for anyone looking to bring a wee bit of a coastal theme into their home.
All this talk of failure has me wanting to spend the rest of the weekend doing things I am really good at! Hope your weekend if full of your favorite things.
A note that a few Amazon Affiliate links were used in this post. If you make a purchase, I may earn a small commission. Thank you!