There in the Center of Gratitude
Weekend Reads v. 28.11.2025
You could see this post coming from a mile away. Thoughts on gratitude during Thanksgiving week in America — how unoriginal. But I’d like to throw a curve ball into the mindful gratitude conversation before you scroll on past.
This is a natural time of year for reflection, and it’s not just the Yanks who are mark a day off on the calendar to spend time with loved ones in gratitude. Several countries take a day to give thanks – for example, Canada sets time aside to give thanks for the harvest season every October. And others around the world will reflect on the previous year with gratitude as they prepare for a new year.
But sometimes there is a hollow, tinny sound when all these proclamations of thanks are whizzing past. What if you are truly in a season of hardship? It can be difficult to conjure grand statements of gratitude with sincerity.
Psychologists warn of “the hidden harm of ‘be grateful’ and weaponized gratitude.” Surely we’ve all had a conversation where we were verbally processing a difficult situation, and the person across the table quickly dismissed our seemingly paramount troubles with a “Well, be grateful because such and such.“ It stings to be dismissed and accused of being ungrateful.
This is yet another scenario in life that isn’t an either / or scenario but rather a both / and situation. You can be grateful for work and still recognize the trauma of a bully boss. You can love your life and still grieve for the partner or children you never had. And on and on it goes. I suspect the answer to the gratitude dilemma, that is finding humble thanksgiving that doesn’t ring hollow, is by standing right smack dab in the middle of gratitude. It’s an idea I first encountered in a small book.
Fourteen years ago, a small book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp was published. The cover featured delicate hands holding a nest and a pair of robin’s eggs, and it was an image I saw over and over as the book’s popularity grew. Friends raved about it, and magazines wrote about it. I’m not sure why it took a solid four years before I picked it up. Maybe it was a gift? I can’t recall.
As I made my way through the first chapter, I found the writing to be fluid and poetic – perhaps too poetic for my taste at times – as Ms. Voskamp described they ways her family carried a horrific tragedy in their individual lives. I couldn’t relate to much of her life as she was married to a farmer, lived in a place with very long winters, and had children. But her journey to find peace amidst the uncertainty of life resonated with me as I wound down my time in California to move back east.
Ms. Voskamp would rise early on cold winter mornings and take a few moments to scribble a list of things she was grateful for on scraps of paper. The process was cathartic. Soon she upgraded to a proper journal to house her lists of simple moments and people and ordinary items that provided her with a reason to give thanks. The more she gave thanks, the more the inky darkness of her pain faded. There’s a point in the book where she chronicles a season of studying the etymology of the word “gratitude” in her quest to understand this joyful transformation occurring her mind and heart. Ultimately, she leads the reader on a short course in unpacking the Greek verb “eucharisteo” which means “to give thanks.” The word is composed of two roots: charis which means grace and chara which means joy.
It is there in the center of gratitude that Ms. Voskamp finds grace and joy.
I hope for those of you who mark this week as a time of thanksgiving that you will find grace and joy in moments of gratitude. That you will feel a swell of gratitude even in the smallest of moments – perfectly smooth rain drops landing on the last leaves of autumn, the pale palette of the morning sky, the lyrical laugh of a loved one. The faithfulness of a beloved pet, the clammy feel of a child’s hand when they latch onto yours and pull you in the direction of adventure. The quiet morning with a warm cup of coffee. The feeling of a job well done. The satisfaction of a long day. The comfort of your own bed. All those little things that make you feel at home in your own skin. I hope your own gratitude list is long and brings you much joy.
And if joy is hard to find in this season, I hope you’ll lean hard on the grace also to be found in the center of gratitude. It’s yours for the taking.
Would you ever invite your favorite waiter to your house for Thanksgiving? This blogger did, and it was a sweet story.
You can listen to the Beatrice Potter collection for free via Audible! Narrated by Andrew Scott, the collection includes the classic tales of Peter Rabbit - a rebellious and disobedient young rabbit, Mrs Tiggy-Winkle - the diligent hedgehog washerwoman, Jemima Puddle-Duck - an innocent and loving mother duck, and many more as they cause mischief, confront danger and make new friends.
A case for cross-stitch: “Needlework can soothe the brain, heal the psyche and keep you from texting your ex.” (WaPo Gift Lift)
Finding so many books to add to my Christmas list like this one by Niall Williams called “This is Happiness.” One reader said of the book, “It’s narrated by a septuagenarian who witnessed the electrification of rural Ireland as a teenager. I read aloud to my kids the remarkable scene when the lights come on and, for the first time, people see their own reflections clearly in mirrors (as well as the cobwebbed corners of their homes). My kids couldn’t believe there was a time before electricity.”
For those of you taking advantage of all the online sales, Grace Atwood is updating her list of discount codes and sales each day.
I’ll be the first to admit I have an addiction to my phone. It appears I am far from being alone in this camp. A recent study profiled in the Washington Post found some people check their phones as much as 100 times a day. (WaPo Gift Link)
If you’re like me and feel your phone is the boss of you instead of you being the boss of it, maybe some of these tips to take back your relationship with your device will help? At the very least, we could take a page from this family’s no-phone holiday tradition. (WaPo Gift Link)
I have a feeling my friend Kaylough will appreciate the simplicity of these mid century over-the-door hooks.
I suspect this signed copy of the book “Rome: A Culinary History, Cookbook, and Field Guide to the Flavors that Built a City” would be a good gift for several people on your list.
If you’re into high-brow fish decor, this post is for you. If not, the author promises fish decor is gonna be a thing soon, so maybe take a look?
Seriously considering whether or not I need this special edition Lisa-Frank-inspired binder from the clever people at McSweeney’s. I should absolutely take this to work!
Am I a PANK?
“Aunts are not new. But aunthood as a marketing opportunity is a fairly recent development — and a shrewd one, I realized when I found myself considering buying a Gaultier onesie for my soon-to-be-born niece. She does not yet even crawl among us, and here I am spending a weekend’s worth of bar tabs on ridiculous designer clothing for an infant. Of the many reasons I am excited to greet the arrival of my niece (teaching her about Star Wars, teaching her how to swear effectively), the opportunity to buy lots of adorable, frivolous baby-size things is high on the list. The public relations firm Weber and Shandwick would call me a PANK: a Professional Aunt, No Kids.” (Source)
I hope this weekend is a good one for you. I’m so delighted to inch closer to my most favorite holiday – Christmas!
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