I write to you from a somewhat noisy Cava restaurant about 20 minutes south of my house. I had to make a trip to the bank to sort out a random direct deposit issue and before heading home, I thought – it’s sunny, it’s Friday, why not take a bit of a break from the grind? And so here I am at a table next to a father and daughter engaged in a very animated conversation about her friends.
I have to say, this dad is killing it.
His gentle pushing back happens rhythmically. She makes a proclamation about a friend being disloyal; he takes a beat and asks her to take a different perspective. And around she comes to see where maybe she could do better. He’s not invested in her being the hero of the story but instead in her having character as she walks through this friend-drama.
Just before they got up to throw their compostable bowls in the trash, she said something along the lines of, “You’re right. I do that a lot, so it’s good you reminded me.”
He loves her and so he points back to her character and kindness instead of just humming along. The pushing back doesn’t always feel amazing when it’s happening, but in the long run it does make us better.
It just so happens, this was my second such conversation today.
The first conversation was one I had with a very close friend who, like that dad, has the ability to gently hold up a mirror and point out where I may have gone off track. How vital friends are! And what incredible love is shared through friendship.
There’s a famous quote from C.S. Lewis that I think sums up friendship well, “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’”
This Valentine’s Day, I find I’m struck by the power of the other types of love in life. Lewis saw four types of love in our lives: Affection, Friendship, Romantic, and Charity. I think Lewis is onto something. Love covers so much of our lives. It spans partners and friends and parents and siblings and pets and even the thrill one feels when driving to a soundtrack of a favorite song with the windows down.
So, here’s to a day celebrating love in all its forms, but especially those people who love us so much they point us back to the best parts of ourselves.
Which would you choose – boredom or an electric shock? Apparently, people are choosing the shock!
This article about what we are losing by choosing typing over handwriting was interesting.
“The human way of doing things imposes limits, depending on our tools. Ten fingers can fly across a keyboard, but the experience of writing with a pen or pencil in one hand requires more patience. The average American can type 40 words a minute but can only write 13 words a minute by hand. As the calligraphist Paul Antonio notes, when he teaches children to write, he is really teaching them to slow down.” Source
Now this is what I call a scientific experiment: “Physicists figure out the perfect Cacio e Pepe recipe.” Billed as “scientifically optimized.” I am intrigued.
Over the past 100 years, men around the world have grown twice as much as women in size.
A whole bunch of data that explains the links between intelligence, personality, and careers. The graph illustrating the highest and lowest ranking professions by IQ is particularly interesting.
Never thought I’d see “crash a wedding” in a list compiling 50 years of travel tips, but here you go!
This book about how New York City came to be looks like an interesting read.
Now that I finished one of the weirdest books I’ve ever read, I’m finally about to read Rob Henderson’s memoir, Troubled. (OK, I just spent far too much time working out the name of that weird book. I literally closed it for good last night, and I’ve already forgotten the name of it. Bless!)
I became a Christian in 5th grade. It was a very deliberate choice, and I remember it clearly. I suppose this could be why I always find myself leaning in a bit when a person tells of their adult conversion. This is especially true when that adult is well known. The very thoughtful and thorough essay entitled “How a Skeptical Philosopher Becomes a Christian” chronicles the life and decisions of Wikipedia co-founder Larry Sanger. It is such a wonderful read, even if you’re not in the market for religion. It’s hard to describe how approachable this piece is, so I will share an excerpt that made Mr. Sanger feel so very real to me – almost as though he were seated across from me to share his story.
“Once, however, one of my students came to the graduate assistant room and engaged me in conversation; this would have been, perhaps, 1994. He presented a version of the Argument from Design called the “Fine Tuning” Argument. (I will discuss it some more below.) Again, this made an impression on me; as I found I had no response, there were tears in my eyes, to my consternation. To this day I am not quite sure why. The student left quickly, no doubt tactfully leaving me to my thoughts. Perhaps I was only ashamed that I was unable to respond. But ever after that, as a nonbeliever, I always thought the Fine Tuning Argument was perhaps the strongest argument in the theist’s arsenal.
I remember attending a debate between Ohio State philosophy professor Neil Tennant and some Catholic thinker at Pontifical College Josephinum, the Catholic seminary in Columbus. I remember cheering, quietly, “Neil, Neil, he’s our man! If he can’t refute ’em, nobody can!” I was rightly rebuked for being disrespectful by one of my fellow Ohio State grad students, and I felt duly shamed.” Source
Here’s to a relaxing long weekend for you, I hope!