Weekend Reads v. 10.5.2025
Did I just go viral?
When it comes to overthinking, I almost certainly could qualify for a bronze medal with no training leading up to competition time. A little bit of training, and I’m climbing up on the platform to accept my silver medal. It’s the act of overthinking that waters down and confuses my writing. When I don’t have room to allow perfect to be the enemy of good , I’m better equipped to write something that resonates.
This week’s busy schedule meant I couldn’t overthink the response I made on an article that explored the idea of a “Motherless Daughter.”
Based on the profiles included in the article, this is a woman who has either lost her mother due to death or has a complicated relationship with their mother. I do not want to take away from either of those experiences, and yet I feel as though those two people – the person who has lost their parent or the person with the complicated relationship – seem to dominate the delicate territories of the Hallmark holidays we call Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
There is another person grappling with this holiday, and that is the person longing to receive gifts and well wishes from their own children – children who will never be. And so, equipped with a perspective I must admit I never wanted, I added a quick comment to the post.
“Mother's Day bruises my heart, but in a different direction. I consider myself a childless mother -- I've always wanted a family but for several different reasons, this has not been my reality. As with all bruises, I care for myself and those around me by taking things slowly and gently on Mother's Day. Sending lots of love and light to my fellow childless mothers out there.”
Since that comment, I’ve received nearly a dozen email notifications each time someone “liked” my post. For a person who rarely comments on public posts, this number of likes makes me feel quite exposed! It has been interesting to see the content of the comments still skews heavily in the direction of the Motherless Daughter. Is this because the tragedy of a Motherless Daughter has two characters while the Childless Mother only has herself to blame for the tragedy that has befallen her? It does seem society has a far easier time with a defiant victim than with the broken woman who cannot get what she wants.
This could just be a me problem, after all. Maybe I’m showing up to parties where I no longer fit in. For example, it seems this particular publication attracts either the 20-something urban woman with her childbearing years gloriously ahead of her, or the married/divorced woman juggling Society (!), Children (!), The Meaning of Her Life (!). Though this is a beloved publication for me, I realize their editorial staff stopped caring for my content preferences when I became a 43-year-old woman who married for the first time and would not be writing her magical birth story in a lengthy caption on Instagram. After nearly 20 years of reading this author’s blog, it is hard to just stop showing up. And so I keep showing up to find there aren’t a lot of other women like me at this particular party.
I write this knowing there are women who tick all the aforementioned boxes — women who had a difficult relationship with their mother and lost her to death and have no children. There are also women who tire of the questions and skepticism around why they’ve chosen a life without children. All of these women are important and deserving.
As has become the theme of my life, two things can be true. I can feel out of place and still enjoy myself at the party. I can feel a bit gloomy on a Hallmark holiday (or two!), and I can also celebrate the people in my life who count this as a precious day. I can mourn what was not to be and take stock of the unexpected things that became my story.
I hope this is also true for you this weekend. May you feel delightfully content and fully present at some point in the coming days.
Is Suzy Weiss the greatest writer of our day? I make a motion to say, “Yes. Why, yes, she is.” Here are three examples to support my motion in the form of her weekly column for The Free Press. If you hit a paywall, message me and I shall remedy the situation!
In case you’re in the mood to make delicious scones this weekend, here’s a superb recipe.
Can we stop making Maycember a thing?
This article about the drama of a girl’s trip-gone-wrong via group chat reminded me that some group chats work better as a video call. (WSJ gift link)
Ace Hotel has a new location. Anyone up for a trip to Athens to sit by the pool after a day of touring historical ruins??
In need of a really last-minute Mother’s Day gift? Mootsh never fails and is offering 15% off with the code MOMSPECIAL15 at checkout.
Graduation season is upon us. In addition to this gift guide I wrote last year, Back Market might be a good place to look for refurbished tech items that are kind to your wallet and the Earth. Personally, I’m eyeing a DSLR camera or a GE nugget ice maker (!!).
We can learn a lot about temperance from Hobbits.
I got 44. You? (See also: does this mean I should move to Texas?)
One of my favorite places in Ireland will host Annie Atkins for an intriguing workshop on graphic prop design. Annie is probably best known for the work she has done for director Wes Anderson. Three days at Ballyvolane House always sounds like Heaven, but this experience sounds especially delightful! (Carla, this seems so very you!)
Traveling abroad this summer? Don’t forget your iPhone calculator doubles as a currency converter!
Austrian wines just in time for patio weather. (p.s. their glassware is gorg)
Popcorn but make it Japanese. These look delicious!
Fantasy art isn’t exactly my genre, but Natalie Andrewson’s use of vibrant color is fantastical in all the right ways.
And in this apparent season of gift giving, a reminder that Rifle Paper Co. always seem to have perfect gifts.
Take gentle care!