Weekend Reads v. 21.2.2025
Hand me my power suit, pls.
On Monday, I’ll head into an office for the first time in five years. I’ll trade my jeans and cozy sweaters for more restrictive business clothes and shoes. Understandably, I’ve had lots of thoughts about this upcoming change.
First, I was surprised at how sad I’ve been to think about not sharing a workspace each day with my cat. “Will she miss my impromptu Broadway performances about how cute she is?”
And I’ve been surprised at how not excited I am about commuting. I have gone to great lengths to give myself a short commute since the days when I lived in Koreatown and crawled south along The 5 toward the sleepy town of La Mirada. A year of enduring that commute along some of LA’s most congested routes sent me spiraling into a pretty bleak state of mind.
All these things can be true, and I can also be excited about the new job and about the work I’ll be doing.
It’s remarkable to compare this job change to past job changes. I certainly roll with the punches of the unknown much better than I did when I was in my 20’s. I also carry an important lesson – while the work can reward you, the job will ultimately never care about you.
There have been so many jobs over the years that I absolutely devoted myself to and expected matched devotion in return. There have been so many colleagues I assumed would remain a close friend after whatever workplace trauma we’d shared. Reality shaped up to be something far different from my expectations. I have made a handful of life-long friends from workplaces, but these friendships are the exception. (And what a godsend these friendships are!) But the reality is, jobs are not hobbies. People show up and mostly do what’s asked of them in exchange for a paycheck. Most people don’t devote themselves to work the way one might be devoted to a hobby, and so it’s easy for them to just pick up and move right along without looking in the rearview. Me, I seem to keep checking the rearview.
While some of the work I’ve done over the years has refined me, and some of the relationships I’ve built have enriched me, no company has ever stood by me in the long run. That’s not how it works.
This is a lesson I would tell my younger self: focus on doing good work and investing in people (including yourself!). You’ll likely be the one picking yourself up after a fall as no corporation ever did such a thing.
This doesn’t mean good bosses don’t stick by you. I’ve been fortunate to have worked for some really incredible people – including the visionary woman for whom I’ve recently worked – but corporations and boards are sterile institutions that don’t show up when you’re ill or grieving or in need of a rest. No, an entity will not go to bat for you unless it’s good for the bottom line. Hence the need to link up and invest in the people around you.
People will have your back; the boardroom isn’t capable of such loyalty. And as for my current colleague, I can report that cats can be loyal coworkers. Well, most of the time.
Have any of you made the transition from WFH to working from an office recently? What surprised you about the transition?
Yessssss. Newsboy caps and argyle are officially back. (At least, according to Khaite’s NYFW show)
I don’t have any exciting travel plans in my foreseeable future, but that doesn’t stop me from bookmarking dreamy vacation destinations. Here are two vacation ideas I just bookmarked: going to Hokkaido, Japan to try the four different types of ramen that originated on the island and then marvel at the fields of flowers; and traveling to Puerto Escondido, a laid-back beach town in Mexico, where I’d delight in the architecture and food. Sigh! Both places look amazing.
People with influence are swearing banana water is a thing we should try.
AI is turning matchmaking in India on its head, forcing cultural tradition to collide with the efficiency of technology.
“Still, a common grievance with these older matrimony hubs is the heavy involvement of parents or siblings. In some regions of India, 40 to 50 percent of the accounts created on Shaadi are managed by parents. ‘Even if the profile is created by individuals, especially in the case of women, it gets managed by or is influenced by parents quite a bit,’ Ekta Checker, Shaadi’s associate director of marketing, told The Print in 2022. Indeed, the practice is baked into the virtual-matrimony marketplace to the extent that websites ask users to specify the account owner—the primary user, their parent, sibling, friend, or relative. Thayil finds direct parental involvement ‘quite funny.’ ‘I don’t even know if my matches are actually interested in me, because their family members are usually the ones operating the account,’ she says. ‘For all I know, his mom might be the one interested in me.’ In this way, India’s virtual-matrimony industry is simultaneously navigating tradition and modernity, clutching onto historical customs while projecting progressive belief systems. ‘In [Indian] culture, that positive tension existed even fifty years ago,’ Betterhalf co-founder Pawan Gupta explains. ‘Parents want something else. Their kids would want something else.’” Source
YouTube is about to turn 20 (!!), and stats indicate people are watching a whole lotta videos. “This would tell us that humanity consumes something like 8.3 million years of videos on YouTube every month.”
I could make a case for a Wednesday cake.
The joys (and pains) of ballet as an older adult.
Mona Lisa is getting her own “special space.”
On a somewhat related note, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole on the subject of why people take photos in art galleries. I am one of those who takes photos inside galleries, and the photos are usually of parquet floors, elaborate crown moulding, or intricate framing. How about you? Are you on Team Photos Are Allowed or Team Photos Are Forbidden?
How do we feel about double-decker seats on airplanes? (Slightly claustrophobic???) How about a sleeping pod…for an entire long-haul flight?
J.Crew and The New Yorker teamed up for a limited-time collaboration. This could be a good place for gift ideas for anyone in your life who is an avid reader of the magazine.
Spring is coming! Get pumped for longer days and warmer temps! (Let’s just overlook the whole pollen misery, shall we?)